Hello Family,
I am fairly new to this community and I am so glad that I found a place to hold myself accountable and a place where I can bond with others in the same situations that I am going through and find comfort in the support from others like me.
I have been in active addiction for about 13 years and I started my sobriety journey on 10/18/23. I moved in a LGBTQ sober living home with a great group of people who had been struggling and it was awesome. I liked the way that it was structured and I maintained my life there pretty well.
While I was living there I accomplished some of the things that I had been trying to accomplish for many years like getting back into college to complete my degree in Music and maintaining my sobriety, I was working two jobs in addition to going to 4 meetings a week.
I ended up leaving after 106 days and that’s when the battle began. I relapsed immediately after leaving and I found myself unhappy and I didn’t understand why I kept going back to my drug of choice time and time again.
So I managed to get into another sober living home after a few weeks and I had to go through detox and a two week therapy session with a pier coach before I was placed in the actual sober living home.
I completely all of the requirements and moved into an all male sober living home and it was challenging because I was the only female in a house full of men. I had a couple of issues with a few of the gentlemen and the house managers did their best to try and resolve the issues but things were constantly happening.
I was enjoying my time there while in college and making the best of it and then one night one of the guys touched me inappropriately and instead of telling one of the house managers the next day I decided to stand up to him and let him no that I was not going to put up with it and I know now that threatening him was wrong.
So the house manager came to me the next day and told me that I had 24 hours to find somewhere to go. I am originally from Florida and I was living in Colorado at the time and had been for 8 years.
I told my mother what happened and she booked a room at a hotel for me for a couple of days and I found myself in a situation that led to me relapsing again.
I had no family there and no place to go so I found myself lost and out of options I had ran out of money and ended up losing everything I owned.
I stayed in a homeless shelter for a few days and was looking for any options that were suitable for my situation and so I checked into detox and started looking for a rehab.
I was notified a few days later and they picked me up and I had a great experience while I was there. I felt like I owed it to myself to be there after all of the years of drug use.
After 60 days I was accepted into another LGBTQ sober living home and I was grateful to be there but I had nothing but clothes that my father sent me and felt very out of place. I was connected to an IOP program and went for about a month and decided that I wanted to be closer to my family and so I moved back to Florida.
A few weeks after moving back home with my parents I found myself mentally relapsing and downloaded Grindr. Opening up that door led to relapsing on 4 separate occasions. The last one being yesterday.
I have since deleted the app and have decided to look into getting more help for my addiction. I have some NA literature and I’m looking for a sponsor, and I’m going to try to make it to at least two meetings a week. I don’t have transportation so I have to rely on my mother to give me rides to meetings. Any suggestions or support would be greatly appreciated and I hope that I never have to use again knowing what I know now. Thank you for reading and I hope that this will encourage someone and hopefully gain something from my story because my journey with sobriety is something so special to me and I want to be a light for anyone who is struggling in any way.
