I’m frustrated with myself, because I gave into peer pressure at a work function even though I had a plan (although was missing my ally); I managed to keep myself in control and didn’t binge - so that’s the optimism… I restarted my clock, and am focused on all the positives that come with sobriety; I want this for myself and my family.
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Lessen learned and moving forward 
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So what is it you want @Runner4 ? When you have that totally clear it will be easier to withstand any pressure. There was a part of you, a part of your brain, that still wanted that drink. Sobriety is black and white. Yes or no. Do or don’t. Peer pressure didn’t make you drink. You made you drink. On we go friend. We’re in this together. With us being your true peers 
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Thank you and so true; I gave in because I chose the wrong path for myself. Back on to clarity!
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Im still early on this journey, but have found that a tricky area. Ive been "proud of myself " for being able to have a single beer or glas of wine, while trying to control / stop drinking. But that becomes the thin end of the wedge.
Glad it didnt spiral out for you and hope it’s helped clarify what you really want out of this.
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I’ve come to the conclusion that having a single one won’t work for me. It’s all or none. That’s why I’m here. I’m addicted. I lost control over the use of alcohol and drugs and nothing will give me that control back, except for the one mode of control I have which is total abstination. And BTW, the longer I don’t drink the more I learn I’m not missing out on anything. It’s the other way around. I missed out on my life by drinking.
I’ve met a huge number of people with substance abuse disorder in many varying degrees. The one constant I see is that once the control over using is lost it will not come back. Folks say they know people who actually could drink or use controlled after becoming addicted, but I’ve never met one. Zero. it is my strong conviction that controlled drinking or using for addicted people doesn’t exist. Harm reduction, maybe, for some. With lots of outside checks and balances. But would that be any fun? Success on your journey Marc.
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Completely agree with this @Mno . I’m relatively early in my journey still, but a lot of what I’ve read points to the same conclusion. I suppose it’s like learning to ride a bike - you never forget how to ride it no matter how long since your last ride. It’s stored in your brain. Likewise, no matter how long we go without our DOC, our brain has ‘learnt’ how it responds and so we end up exactly where we were before. No matter how much time has passed X
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Thank you; this all really struck me - particularly thinking about what I really want and missing out on my life bc of drinking.
I want to be present for my kids. I want to feel great. I want to live - not scrape by until the next chance to drink.
It really becomes clear when you put it into perspective!
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