I dont know how ive carried on this long. Its been a constant off and on since ive been 21. Ill be 29 in a few months.
I finally went to school and now have an amazing career. Youd think that wouldve been enough to kick this habit. But still, its not.
Im just so mad at myself. Im better than this and i know it.
Why is this so hard ? Why cant i find my self worth? Why cant i love myself enough to stop. Why
It’s a subconscious habit. It has to do with dopamine and all kinds of brain functions that are out of our hands. The more that you can learn about it, the better! YouTube has some really great videos on addiction and what causes it. Look for neuroscientists and psychologists. We all struggle with the same thing here. Our brains take us to a bad place because there are underlying subconscious ideas that it’s good for us. For me I will turn to drinking because my life is so stressful, something inside of me thinks that the alcohol will help me cope. It does not! It makes me feel worse. And it took me forever to realize that I actually have a problem. I’m 39 and just came to the conclusion that I need to do something to ensure that I don’t slip up and drink again. So you’re ahead of the game!
Like seriously, I feel so stupid. This is my third day from drinking and I’m still feeling weak and shakey. You are never alone in your struggle.
Honestly in the same boat. It’s a hard habit to quit. I have been on and off this app for pretty much over a year now and I actually just turned 29 myself on Feb 21. I kept thinking I had everything under control and was really engaged in this community, and yet I found myself getting stuck in the loophole again once in a while since one of my last posts here around Christmas/boxing day.
If I can give you any good advice from my experience and perspective its just to take it slow and easy on yourself, and try to just really be cautious of your environments , who you’re spending time with, and what are your triggers. The thing that has kinda been helping me somewhat stay steady is just being honest with everyone, yes, no hiding it.
Even my probation officer knows I struggle with alcohol. I’m back on day one today, and my shakes, sweats, and vivid dreams were so uncomfortable. Part of me wants to go out and buy a beer right now to get rid of the shakes and sweats, but part of me doesn’t want to keep this viscous loop hole because I truly have accepted I am an addict, and I have an addictive personality.
Anyways , good luck. Keep in touch on this app if you’d like to.
One has to figure out the root cause, work on that and it will get better. In the beginning it’s awfully hard sticking to sobriety, but with time it gets easier.
The thoughts about our DOC won’t stop ever, but you will learn how to handle them and how to observe them.
Lots of strength to you 
Im also same
Actually on the 3rd day of not drinking you will still be feeling weak and shaky thats normal and not stupid at all…the first week is always the hardest…ive heard it refered to on here as hell week…so please less of the calling yourself stupid and more being kind to yourself to give yourself the best chance at succeeding… 
This is the issue right here…you need to figure out why you cant find your self worth…what is the root cause of the matter…you dont have to say it here if you dont want to but there has to be a reason…mine was low self esteem so in early sobriety thats what i started working on…you are deserving of a healthy sober life…we all are
I had to "get comfortable with being uncomfortable "…for me there was and is some personal stuff that I needed/need too deal with…I did/will…a few family members and several friends gone by the wayside…Im ok with that…
You’ll have to deal with what you’re not…I did…it made quitting drinkin easier…but it was/is tough…
Be well
Youre totslly right . I need to really learn to love myself. It feels like the hardest thing to do sometimes.
Sounds exactly like me. Finally decided to give AA a real shot and do whatever it took to get sober.
Wish you luck. Keep pounding at the door. If you have air in your lungs you have a chance
Addiction has to do with dopamine and brain chemicals.
The rewiring can be done but it takes a lot of time. As much time as it took to get addicted.
It’s a work in progress. After a certain point it does get a lot easier.