How does one keep from getting frustrated with others who think they know how to fix you but they don’t want to learn about addicts and when you try to tell them they turn around and say that you don’t know nothing because you’re the addict and your mind is not there, or they say get off your high horse because if you knew that much you would have never touched the drugs. Cold hearted and cruel people definitely should not be asked for advice even if it is your own Mother.
There is one thing, and only one thing, that you have control over— you.
You can’t change people. Most of the time, it’s not even personal.
When I let go of personal responsibility of everything, my life became more peaceful.
Stupid people are going to continue to be stupid: let them.
Narcissists are going to continue to be narcissistic: let them.
You control you.
Set healthy boundaries, like: I am not going to discuss this topic with you. If it continues, I’m going to leave.
If it continues, leave!
You protect you and your sobriety. Your addictions didn’t change them, but your sobriety can positively change you.
Ive had all of this from my own mother aswell, I understand your frustration, because shes your mother it doesnt make her in the right, my mother told me straight to my face that I was choosing to drink, that its not a disease its a choice and that she could not be less interested in learning anything about addiction, 3 years on im sober and she still doesn’t want to understand, thats ok…ive set boundries with her now to protect myself from her….she was part of the reason I became an addict you see, keep your sobriety and keep venting to us, hugs to you, i know it hurts xx
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was my mother was never going to meet my emotional needs…ever. She is simply incapable of it.
I had to learn that she loves me the best how she can, but it’s not how I need loved most of the time. I adore my mother. I’m a Mama’s boy
.
But when I started to mother those parts in me that needed one, I learned how to emotionally detach from her chaos. It took a long time though.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. You’re right, it shouldn’t be this way.
I’m totally with you on that one, it’s always if you know it’s bad don’t have any easy as that. I find trying to get sober is one thing but also trying to explain how I feel to someone who doesn’t drink is a whole task in its self.