Struggling today with my anxiety. But I will never allow you to beat me ever again. I fucking own you (with my mind and continuous preventative care), not the other way around. I concede you will always be a battle within, but you will never win this war – as I have already slayed my demons with vengeance.
Sometimes you have to get mad at your addiction(s) or afflictions to overcome your diseases’ way of tricking you into a false complacency. Almost like a mental submission. Fuck that. Never be satisfied with status quo and always be cognizant of your minds eye; never allow any thought to keep you into a perpetual mental straight-jacket.
That internal fallacy appears real both mentally and physically. However, your perseverance, work, willpower, determination, knowledge into power and continued support systems for your truth — to where you’re in your recovery, can and will overpower any mind-fucks, doubt or minor step-backs. Moreover, any societal deemed norms of regression or set-backs will never erase all of your progress. You can push the reset button, or simply acknowledge said vulnerability while also understanding 1 step back or to the side doesn’t steer you away from the light and your destination of inner fulfillment.
All of the positives will always make brief unfulfilled moments of euphoria and a false sense of relief and the misery in which that accompanies seem trivial and meanigless.
The opinion that matters most is the one you hold accountable to the person you see in the mirror.
Wow, that was a mouthful . Eloquent way with words too, I might add. First off, I am not a fan of the anxiety as well. It has kind of worked itself out since I’ve pulled the reigns back on my thoughts. The thought police have come to town… The less I project ( worry ) about things that haven’t even happend or go back and look at the train wreck… Im more balanced naturally. My primary focus has been to STAY in this moment. Its helped me tremendously this week. Ive had alot hit me all at once and with very little residual effects. We are human… being a reformed perfectionist, I have to remind myself daily… “Im just a girl in the world” keep posting… love it.
There are many academic and reputable studies discussing the possible correlation between intelligence and addiction. Most of them stating something along the lines something of, ‘the smarter you are, the more you may challenge yourself, leading to further stressing, compounding the possibility for coping both in a positive way and negative way (addiction).’
It’s really interesting stuff; however, none of the studies say it justifies addiction. I highly suggest reading a few; it’ll keep your mind busy and is something to read if you enjoy reading.
I know, for myself, addiction and substance abuse has always been tied in with my anxiety to continue to be better. It sucks because the more I remain sober and responsibilities and goals build up, the more I feel I need an escape. Maybe you feel the same?
Stay strong. Anxiety is just excitement channeled incorrectly - most of the time involuntarily.