Fun without booze


#1

This might be similar to my last thread but booze warped my brain into not having fun unless alcohol is involved.

I have no interest in traveling, meeting new people, seeing plays, things normal people do. It’s not as exciting as partying.

It’ll come back I think but the last time I went months sober I didn’t make enough effort to rebuild my life. I thought moving would do the trick.

I don’t blame myself. I blame alcohol. It’s a mind warping drug.


#2

I get this 100%. Alcohol releases dopamine, which gives us a feeling of reward. And you are totally correct, this will all come back with time as your brain adjusts to being sober. The brain is a wonderful thing.


#3

Why is it that you are quitting drinking?

I wonder if you are romanticising alcohol. When I drink it is cool to start with. I get louder, laugh more, I think I am funnier. Then I drink more, then I make questionable choices, spend time with people I don’t want to be around. I overshare. I blackout. Put myself in vulnerable situations. Lose my shit (figuratively and literally!). Spend the next day worrying about what I might have said or done. Feeling wiped out and tired.

I thought I needed alcohol to have fun but I just needed alcohol. When I drank it wasn’t fun or exciting. It was always the same tragic shit, just maybe a different house or bar. It took me a long time to realise all this, I had a LOT of those nights.

Have you read This Naked Mind or anything like it? Or gone to any meetings? Sounds like you need a bit of help to help you believe in the reasons you decided to stop drinking, whatever they are!


#4

So true. :neutral_face:


#5

If it took ten years to walk into the woods, it can take ten years to walk back out.

I, too, didn’t do enough to rebuild my life after my last relapse. This time I’ve had the good fortune of meetings with those who have been into the woods and found their way back out already. It’s a lot easier not following my own bad directions. Plus the people are pretty damn cool!


#6

@siand… oh my god. You nailed it!


#7

Good fortune, coupled with the good judgement to know you needed to do something differently :raised_hands:


#8

You’re exactly right. I’ve been listening to Allen Carr’s book and it’s made me realize the same points you made, that the fun is not really fun at all. It’s escapist for me, so much that I neglected everything else.

The hard part is not having the escape and facing life head on. Caring about myself and others again. Finding pleasure in passtimes instead of dulling myself.


#9

I think that’s a wrap. you have said it so eloquently, succinctly, and in a relatable manner that I’m sure that every addict here can relate to. I liken it to the tapes that we play in our heads. Once I learned how to change the tapes, then my behavior followed, then my emotions followed that’s at cetera


#10

I read This Naked Mind I believe they are similar books. And yes definitely agree learning to actually deal with life is hard. But it’s awesome when you make progress, however small. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step etc.

I think it’s about getting out there and just doing things. Try things until something sticks. Not every day is easy but if you’re drunk it isn’t either, you’re just not aware of it. And you’re not aware of all the good things that pass you by. There’s a lot to be grateful for when we take the time to notice :blush:


#11

Yea! Playing the tape forward, or playing the tape to the end, has been massively helpful to me to keep me from taking that first drink.


#12

You’re so right. I’m doing better at work, more personable, getting involved in conversations. Actually cleaned my apartment some.

What I discovered after a lot of thought is that avoidance is my biggest problem. I avoid my own emotions and don’t care about anything. Last night I started noticing things I didn’t before. A bare wall that needs decorations. The towels needed washing. I still haven’t fixed that broken chess piece. The fish bowl is dirty. I still have unpacked boxes.

Normal people just do these things. Then they meet someone for tea because they want to meet them. Then they read a book because they’re interested in it.

These did not apply to me under the grip of alcohol.


#13

I can so relate to the avoidance thing. I’m 5 months in and I’m getting a bit better but it’s slow going.

But fuck it, I’m doing me. Who cares what normal people do? What is normal anyway? Someone else might be jealous of us for our ability to not get hung up about things like undecorated walls!