Why is it that you are quitting drinking?
I wonder if you are romanticising alcohol. When I drink it is cool to start with. I get louder, laugh more, I think I am funnier. Then I drink more, then I make questionable choices, spend time with people I don’t want to be around. I overshare. I blackout. Put myself in vulnerable situations. Lose my shit (figuratively and literally!). Spend the next day worrying about what I might have said or done. Feeling wiped out and tired.
I thought I needed alcohol to have fun but I just needed alcohol. When I drank it wasn’t fun or exciting. It was always the same tragic shit, just maybe a different house or bar. It took me a long time to realise all this, I had a LOT of those nights.
Have you read This Naked Mind or anything like it? Or gone to any meetings? Sounds like you need a bit of help to help you believe in the reasons you decided to stop drinking, whatever they are!