I am new here. Had the app for two weeks, reading stories and using the counter. Resetting almost daily. Having a hard time typing this as it’s difficult for me to be open.
I’m 24, and have been a heavy drinker for going on five years. At minimum, I drink a bottle of wine to myself daily. Every day. Usually more. I never miss work, I don’t drink during the day (unless it’s a day off). I have a wonderful relationship with my family and the couple good friends I need.
My problem is that on the outside things seem fine but I know the drinking is out of control. However, I use my seemingly “normal, functioning” life as an excuse to drink.
I guess in summary, does anyone have any advice? Anything, at this point.
I used to think it was just because I was bored but now I have a bit of a physical dependency as well. And as a result of the drinking I’ve been having more depressive episodes.
It’s good you have close family and friends. Have you tried to open up to them about it? When I went cold turkey, being surrounded by people who cared about me really helped. That with a heavy dose of b-vitamins and lots of water.
I’m happy you’re here and opening up, even typing what you typed is step in the right direction.
Thank your lucky stars you’re not ignoring your issues anymore! Seriously, not many 24 year olds have the foresight to see that their drinking is an issue. You do see it, and you’re taking responsibility. My advice is to set a solid goal, don’t be ambiguous about it. And then complete your goal, then set a new one.
I used wine as kind of a self medication when I felt depressed but knowing about my drinking habits made me feel depressed even more. I finally saw a doctor and opened up. It was always hard to open up about my issues with my family because I didn’t want them to worry about me but let me give you some advice … if you are having a good connection with your family just tell them about your feelings and worries. To me family is a massive support. Best of luck to you !
Welcome.
It is pretty common for us to appear normal on the outside when in the full throws of addiction.
What is awesome, is you recognized your need for change and that is a step in the right direction.
It seems to be a common experience that the normalcy and industry with which we can conduct our lives is a sinkhole that keeps us drinking. And then, as we look back, we can see (many of us, anyway), that our drinking progressed in frequency and amount.
Since you’ve had the good fortune of recognizing a problem, that puts you in a great place for arresting the trouble!
I recognize your drinking habbit. My advice? Trow every alcohol out of the house. Fill you refrigarator with non alcohol drinks. Fill your kitchen cabinet with sweets, cookies and chips. Avoid the wine section in the supermarket and also other alcohol related events (just for a while, till you are stronger).
And just go for it!
A bottle of wine (or more) every night sounds like something that started as an end of the day “treat”. A reward for finishing the day. I remember thinking “I deserve this!” after a long day at work, or after a hard day at work or after a great day at work or after a boring day at work and so on. A psychological crutch that after time, also blooms into a physical addiction. You’ve recognized the problem which is great. It took me years and years to do that. Find new ways to reward yourself. For me, I had to reprogram my brain and redefine fun. Go to a show you want to see (movie, play, ballet, etc), or take a walk at the end of the work day. Walk to the park or to a lake or some place pretty. Go out for coffee with friends. Knit. Write. Try to redefine rewards. I can’t imagine my life if I had been able to cut out drinking in my 20’s. Good for you.
I was a high-functioning, 1+ bottle/day wine drinker, who used grief as an excuse to drink. I decided that I didn’t want to drink, and refused to give myself permission to drink. I have come to realize that whether or not I take the first drink, is 100% my choice. After that, I am no longer in control.
Therefore, I have revoked my drinking privileges, permanently.
Each day, there are only a couple of decisions I make, that are 100% my choice. Whether or not I wake up and get out of bed. Whether or not I make my bed. Whether or not I drink. That’s pretty much it. Everything else is a matter of “will and means”. I may have the will to do something, but lack the means. I could want eggs and bacon for breakfast, but be out of both. I could have my entire day planned out, and get asked to do something that completely disrupts my plans. I understand I need to be flexible here, as these things aren’t 100% within my control.
But sobriety is, at least as far as that first glass of wine, or pint of beer, or shot of vodka. 100% within my control. No one, nothing, can make me take that first drink. Only I can choose whether or not I will.
And I choose not to. Every day. 103 days since I took the last drink that I will ever take. I am 100% positive, because it’s 100% within my control.
I was the same. About a bottle to a bottle and a half on weekdays, as much as I wanted on weekends. As time passes I’m starting to realise how non-functioning a functional alcoholic’s life can be. I thought I was fine because I could keep my job that a monkey could do. And I went out with my 1 friend at least once every 2 months! But I was tired and worn and I had a constant scowl on my face. This might not be your story but as time goes on you too will probably get more energy, think clearer and find better and more rewarding ways to live. Well done on your new life!
My 5th year of heavy drinking was 10th grade and I did pretty well. My 10th of heavy drinking I got a 4.0 in college. My 15th year of heavy drinking I was working as a successful attorney. My 20th year of heavy drinking I was homeless, jobless, broke and friendless.
