Hello guys, I just found this forum and it’s overwhelming to see how so many people here have their own struggles and battles to fight against addictions of all kind and it’s motivating to see you all going strong.
I am 25 years old and currently battling some bad habits and addictions, I’m one year clean from smoking cigarettes in a month (yeah ) but I’m still struggling with porn and masturbation use and gaming.
I’m having a loving girlfriend for 2 years now and I told her I developed a porn addiction since my early teens, but she doesn’t know how often I actually relapse because it’s kind of shameful for me to admit it to her. We are having a great sex life but I get triggered so easily through social media or reddit or anything like that, I can’t remember the last time I had a solid streak. And it feels awful because deep down I know how much better I feel when not watching porn or masturbation for a long time, I have a clearer mind, am more social and I enjoy things like food or going on a hike a lot more than I do when having a heavy brain fog from PMO usage.
In terms of gaming I’m addicted to League of Legends, I just always come back to play it and created double digits amounts of accounts over the time span of 2 years, never being able to stick to one account and overall spending as much as around 2000 dollars on the game in that time. Yep, that’s around 83 dollars each month on a free to play game which sucks up my freetime, motivation to study or do productive things and draining my mental health. Sunk cost fallacy is also a huge deal for me to always relapse, kinda not accepting I wasted so much time and money on the game that I’ll never play again.
I just want to know if anyone here is in a similar situation, what ultimately got you through these addicitions and how do you prevent relapses and avoid triggers. Thanks in advance and sorry for grammatical errors, english is not my first language.
I do not have any experience in these areas but I just wanted to welcome you to our amazing community. I’m sure Jan will come by and share his experience, strength and hope with you. In the meantime, you can use the magnify glass at the top to search for more information. When it comes down to it, all addictions are relatable to some degree when we look for similarities rather than differences. Glad you’re here with us.
Hi there, I’m Jan and I haven’t gamed in 662 days.
I don’t have a lot of time to write a long detailed message, but I can give you a few tips.
Sell everything you’ve used to game. Our head links our devices to gaming so each time you use them it causes cravings.
Use parental controls on your phone. Almost every phone has that possibility and otherwise use “family link” to have someone control your screen usage on your phone.
Buy a focus box. If you crave hard, throw your phone, mouse and anything that you use for gaming that fits in there. There’s no way to open it except for the time running out or smashing it.
Delete all gaming accounts. If you want I can help you with that as I know it can be very triggering to open a game to delete it.
Get a new Google account. That way you won’t have constant gaming emails.
Go to rehab if that’s possible in your country. Without rehab I’d probably be dead.
Always feel free to send me a message, I might not respond immediately as I’m trying to minimize screen time, but it won’t be a longer wait than a day.
Well… I would say it depends on you define harmful…
If you like in my case use gaming as a sort of escapism, waste thousands of dollars on a free to play game and when gaming starts to interfere with your social life, your productivity, mental health and all that, I would say you can definitely draw some parallels to other addicitions like drugs or alcohol so I should also treat it like the addicition it is in my opinion. But yeah of course the toll it takes on your physical health is a lot less than for example drug usage or alcohol abuse youre right.
Wow close to 700 days free of gaming, I’m a little jealous not gonna lie! But hell yeah I’ll stay strong, and one day I will keep a streak of 700 days free of gaming to myself!
Thanks for the answer Lisa, this place seems so positive overall. I’m normally a lurker on forums like reddit and such and don’t post anything. But I feel like here it’s kinda different it’s just a bunch of people here in the same boat dealing with the same problems and difficulties and it’s motivating to see everybody going strong fighting those demons.
Welcome @Flauzenjaeger!! My addiction is alcohol, but you are right that there are many people fighting a variety of addictions on this forum. Regardless of your vice, the support and advice is extraordinary. Glad you found us!
I haven’t gamed in a long time and I feel that it was never as serious an issue for me although it was certainly impulsive in my earlier years and led to some destructive consequences. As my life circumstances changed (new job, new home, new responsibilities) I just spent less time with gaming until now when I feel I can safely enjoy a quick game every once in awhile. Like most addictions, some may not reach a point of control like I have. Be prepared for the reality that you may have to renounce this pastime forever.
PMO is the addiction that hurts me the most, and the hardest to kick. Unlike breaking from substance addictions, a healthy lifestyle contains a healthy amount of sexuality. You may not be able to realistically cut yourself off completely from all your triggers (billboards, ads, social media, movies, music, etc). Do the best you can and find something to occupy your mind when a triggering thought starts to take place. If you don’t think about it you are MUCH less likely to act on it.
I resonate a lot with your narrative - a loving relationship and not sure how to explain frequent relapses without hurting your partner. After 4 years sober from PMO I’ve relapsed and been struggling to get back to sobriety for 15 months now. Every day I learn more about how to address these issues and fill the holes in my pysche that I tried to fill with addiction. My best advice to you is to be patient with yourself, try new techniques, and don’t get discouraged if you relapse. Pick yourself up and keep moving forward with a new day one.
You can do this. You know how sweet your life in recovery can be, and you deserve to be the best version of yourself. Find ways to remind yourself when it gets tough and do everything it takes to stay clean one day at a time.
) but I’m still struggling with porn and masturbation use and gaming.
