Hi everyone,I have been reading people’s topics and decided to chime in with mine.
I recently have given up alcohol (mainly wine) because i see it becoming a problem of me abusing it. I always use the excuse “i just drink to relax” but them i overdo it and get super drunk. I am thin so im a lightweight so one glass tends to get me to tipsy instantly. I want to keep up with my peers but I know I cant because of this.
This past Saturday i got really messed up at a friend’s house and they got super concerned about me and contacted my husband. I never want to put people i care about in that kind of situation again so thats why i wanted to stop.
This isnt my first time. I went clean in 2020 for 4 months and then had a drink and felt comfortable controlling myself again. This time i feel worse with it and idk if i should try to give up alcohol all together this time.
Yesterday was day #3 in my attempt to be sober again, but gave in bc work and personal life stressors got the best of me. Downed half a bottle and i felt “sedated” and calmed down, but I wanna learn ways to deal with those times without the crutch of alcohol.
Any advice would be helpful and thanks for reading all this if you did
The situation always gets worse, it doesn’t get better. There is a saying in one of the groups I am in, "The question isn’t “Is it bad enough to stop?” but “Is it good enough to keep doing it?”
Going without alcohol for two days and then “needing” it on the 3rd is definitely a red flag. Every time I’ve slipped, alcohol makes me feel profoundly worse and it becomes harder to get past day one, two, three…
How does it serve you? What good does it do for you? The stress of the job isn’t really gone. You just numbed it overnight, only to wake up to it the next day. It’s a vicious cycle that never ends until you end it.
Hi Geneva! Welcome to the forum and congratulations for trying to be sober.
You are already aware that it’s an excuse. Alcohol doesn’t relax. That’s what society makes you believe, in reality it causes the opposite.
You have tried in the past, and you made it 4 months. Therefore you can actually do it! You already know the answer to your question.
Have you read on the subject? I recommend “This naked mind” from Annie Grace. the book tries to change your (false) beliefs on alcohol (that it relaxes, makes you more social bla bla)
Wishing you all the best, keep checking in with us!
I feel like my anxiety plays into it. Whenever im stressed or overthinking, my hearrt starts racing and i grit my teeth. Which my husbanf has noticed countless of times and has told me to stop even though half the time i dont realize im doing it. I love my job, i was more stressed about the errands and stuff i gad to run after a long work day and preparing for an event this weekend.
Welcome to the forum Geneva! You’ve come to the right place to inform yourself, to gain knowledge, to talk to people who know, to get support. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.
The only thing I will quote from your post . That’s a huge red flag right there, using alcohol as self medication. Alcohol is terrible as anti anxiety med. I know, I used it for forty years (together with smoking pot). I needed more and more of it to get the same effect, and in later years all it did was make me more anxious and stressed. The opposite from what I wanted.
For me it is clear what you have to do from what I read. 100%. I think if you reread your own words you will see it too. You see yourself it becomes harder to quit again each time. And this time you gave in already on day 3.
It is my experience that people who have to make an effort to control themselves around alcohol, in fact can’t. People who don’t have problems with alcohol don’t have to think about controlling it. They just do. And people who do have to make an effort to control it can’t. I’ve been around this forum for a couple of years now, and I have never seen anybody here succeed to control their drinking. Nobody. I know what I am myself and that’s not somebody that can control his drinking.
Anyway, I’m glad you’re here and I hope you will find the answers you are looking for. Wishing you all success in your journey lady.
I just wanted to say Welcome to the forum @Gmac126 I second everything @Jesile said
If you like books I read Quit like a Woman by Hollie Whitaker
It was really good and helped change my perspective of alcohol.
I literally just screenshotted this whole message so I can refer to it at random times easily. Thank you that really puts it into perspective.
I know its too early right now for me to say “im quitting for good” bc I dont even believe it, but I want to get to the point of it being believeable and work towards it.
UPDATE: Although I started over and approaching day #3 again, i set up my clothing booth at my event tonight and tomorrow and had a great time!
Only thing is that theres beer trucks at this event and when i looked right and left there was someone with a beer in their hand. Even someone put there glass on my table while they were getting their card out to pay for my item and I could smell it.
Super tempting times but i stayed strong and came home to have a cup of tea:heart: hoping to have the same mindset tomorrow
I get where you’re coming from. Some may call me a binge drinker rather than an alcoholic. I would binge during stressful times. Sometimes go months without drinking and then life would hit me and I would down a bottle of whiskey. I would consider that an alcoholic because I was using to escape; I felt like I had to have it to deal with my life.
This time I eliminated the stress in my life I can control like social media, toxic relationships, etc. I feel this time will stick.
Super glad you’re here. I just came across this thread and I’m so happy to read everybody’s responses too. I need these constant reminders because I’ve only been sober 18 days and a part of me (only for small moments in times) starts to think “maybe I could just have one… Maybe I’d be able to control it now”. But I’ve tried this for one TEN years and I have to remember " I AM an alcoholic. I CAN’T have just one. It hits my brain differently and I just crave more and more. I also used alcohol to help me deal with stress and anxiety. I can tell you that after these 18 days without alcohol, I am way less anxious about many things that would normally stress me out to near panic attacks. Alcohol only amplified my anxiety, Which then led me to thinking I needed a drink to calm my anxiety…but it was just a viscous cycle. Thanks for sharing your post. So glad I read it tonight♥️ I wish you strength and guidance. Keep reading and keep sharing.
Blockquote I can tell you that after these 18 days without alcohol, I am way less anxious about many things that would normally stress me out to near panic attacks. Alcohol only amplified my anxiety, Which then led me to thinking I needed a drink to calm my anxiety…but it was just a viscous cycle.
Blockquote
Thank you, this really reassured me that hopefully DOES get better if I can stick it out. The 4 months stretch I did in 2020 feels like ages ago so i dont remember what anxieties I was facing then compared to now. I feel like they are worse now so I need to stay strong so the clarity comes again
It makes me happy to see you checking in Geneva. It might be advisable to avoid alcohol all together in the early stages, but on the other hand it is everywhere in our society and you seem to have a good grasp of what you’re doing. So keep going! For me the smell actually is one of the main deterrents. Disgusting! But that took a while. Enjoy your tea. Stay strong. Talk later. Hugs.
. That’s a huge red flag right there, using alcohol as self medication. Alcohol is terrible as anti anxiety med. I know, I used it for forty years (together with smoking pot). I needed more and more of it to get the same effect, and in later years all it did was make me more anxious and stressed. The opposite from what I wanted.
That one is also very good and helpful! 