Getting back to normal

I just wanted to share one of the pitfalls in my life, relationship and recovery:
The idea of things “getting back to normal”.
For me, that idea kept me trapped in my old habits and ways of thinking. I would think, well if I get in recovery and look like I’m trying, then things can get back to normal. Unfortunately for me, normal was being dishonest, it was neglecting the people I love for my own selfish pursuits.
I was living a double life, and I wanted to keep both. That was normal for me, saying one thing but doing another. Having more than one story for different people. That was normal for me.

Since my wife moved out and the consequences of my addiction are real and heavy, I no longer want things to go back to normal. I realize that I need a new normal. I had to let go of everything I thought I wanted to keep, and in doing so I got more than I thought I ever would. In really working my program, in really connecting with people on an emotional level (I know guys, it’s wicked hard for us men, especially when it’s time to watch sports ball or foot game) I am finding a new “normal” and I really enjoy it.

What’s your new normal? What did you give up to get it?


Thanks for sharing. Your posts always help me.

I am still working on my new normal. I can relate to the double life and I hated it. I think my new normal is trying to be in the moment more.

I have started doing things outside more or just fixing things around the house. Taking on smaller things rather than getting frustrated by the bigger ones. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment.

I don’t feel like I have given up anything as much as I feel like I freed myself up from wasted time.

It still a struggle but I know what you mean by thinking about going back to normal. My behavior before was not normal so I don’t want to go back there.

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