Getting bad again

Lately I’ve been really depressed and anxious. Thinking about using, I’m not going to but I’m thinking about it.
It’s slowly becoming an idealization and I feel like shit but I can’t help it, I’ve been so depressed and anxious and overall just losing a grip on myself and it’s starting to affect others, with how much I’m on my phone I barely talk to anyone, I’m always tired, I’ll eat some days and others I’ll just starve myself.

I’m not sure what to do, I’m just going through a really bad time, I know I should tell my boyfriend and people close to me but it’s hard, I’ll try to and then stop myself.


First of all try to think about a time when you didnt feel this
Can you remember what actions you took through out the day, if you can try doing that tor a week and see if youre progressing.

Another thing could be your diet, you mentioned that you werent eating too much, believe it or not we really need to eat, not just anything but foods with nutrients in them,
Also try a multivitamin like one a day womens.
There are also medications that help with depression, or if youre like me and dont like prescriptions i use 5htp, vitamin as well as st johns wort vitamins(you can get these at walmart or target walgreens or something like that)

Also meditation and writing /reading.
Theres a theory which holds high in the psychology field that basically states the reason we get depressed could be because we’ve stopped growing as a person. This may or may not resonate with you, but in many cases of my own this has been my truth. Hopefully this helps a little bit.

Exercise helps me a lot also because the sweat and physical activity helps release those much needed chemical’s that keep your brain happy and healthy.

This may sound like a lot but when im really down i just try to add one new healthy habit at a time and before you know a month or so has passed and you are feeling better than ever.

Lifes hard sometimes and im sorry that youre feeling this way, but its not the end, it may even be just the beginning of your happily ever after.



You just described what I’ve been feeling to a T. I have been sober for 4 years now and to have the thought enter my head is scary. I feel like I’m losing bits of myself day by day and hope just starts to dwindle. Every time I try to talk to someone I am scared of being judged or having everything I’ve worked towards being taken away by friends, family and my girlfriend based on a thought entering my head. Once those words come out that the thought of using has entered my head I feel like all credibility goes with it. I wish you the best during these hard times and because of your post I am able to open up as well so thank you.

I’m just losing myself if that makes sense? I know who I am, but at the same time I’m scared because I’m so happy, life is good but then I turn around and it’s bad again. Opening up on here helps but how do you tell people who know you, face to face, what you say on here? Do you ever just hide and pretend to be happy and try to convince yourself? I find myself doing it a lot

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@Trisket hi Tristan, I’m just going to share a few thoughts that came in to my mind from reading your post. You have been experiencing some depression and anxiety, may I just ask for many days clean have you managed to get under your belt when you have been experiencing these feelings. I ask because when we stop drinking or taking drugs we start to feel the full spectrum of emotions as we have been numbing ourselves for so long, especially with drugs. I’m not sure what your doc was but I seem to remember you saying opiates. Allbdrugs do this to an extent but opiates do even more so-----+ the drugs cause your body to receive manufactured endorphins, endorphins are what make you feel good, after so long your body stops producing them completely, that’s one reason why opiate withdrawal is so bad.
Until you get to maybe three or four weeks your are going to get very strong emotions, it seems that may be what’s happening to you
I know these feelings are making you feel unsettled but perhaps now you know why you are feeling them you can try to live with them for now until they go.
If your feeling particularly shit try doing some jumping jacks, this will release natural endorphins.
Your diet stands out a little, during the early stages we have to be kind to ourselves, in the morning I get up, make a coffee and spend up to an hour on here reading threads, it helps.
Have you heard of H.A.L.T------+ if your craving first think am I hungry am I angry, am I lonely or am I tired, all of tholese things can lead to cravings which is one reason why you need to look after yourself. Starving yourself isn’t going to help and your body and brain must be well confused. Set a routine and stick to it and things will get easier.
Lastly we have to be selfish, nevermind peopl thinking your spending to much time on your phone. If you really want to make this stick then you need to allow yourself to do all these things. You have to put mega work in to it, get a couple of weeks under your belt or longer (I don’t know how many days you’ve gotten up to) I promise you things will settle down and ul start feeling better and more clear headed
Also what is it your doing on your phone, your profile summary says you have only spent 22 minutes on here, if you use this app when your are on your phone instead of whatever it is your using then you will wreap the rewards. Just some things for you to think on. If I’m way off the mark with it all then I apologise :slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face:

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When you say life is good and then bad, in what way is it bad :slightly_smiling_face:

I have friends, a boyfriend, a job, I’m saving money and have future plans but man, life is bad, I’m basically crumbling under a sea of depression and anxiety and all these other things.
I have a good life, but I’m not good, I don’t know.

Thank you. I’ll make sure to keep all of these in lines

How many days have you been stringing together m8

No idea man

I get what you are saying, things have been going well for me and I am working towards my education and career but I feel so far behind in life. I’m 28 and don’t have anything to call my own, I know I have come so far from where I was, but my anxiety and depression has been dragging me down and I am getting tired of forcing a smile and saying everything is ok. I don’t know what brings these feelings but I really like @Jowieseff ideas of getting out of this funk. I know I won’t relapse because my sobriety is all I have that’s mine but I can be just as destructive without the drugs and alcohol.

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I’m about 10 years younger than you, but I’ve pretty much taken care of myself since I was 13 so, I know how you feel when you say sobriety is the only thing. I feel like if I relapsed I’d lose the thing I’ve worked hardest for and been through so much for

Hang in the Arae, youre doing great !

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