20 days and wanting alky very much, and feeling a bit (harmlessly) envious of people real and on TV who get to have it. I am countering this by repeating in my head…“I Do Not want Alky. I do not want Alky. I do not want Alky…” Even if I am lying to myself, that makes you pause and try HARDER.
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Great if that strategy works for you. I respond better to positive pressure, like being sober makes it easy to relate to others, or being sober helps me save money.
If I had to use a negative reinforcer, it would be alky makes me go crazy, or alky makes me vomit.
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Why do you want it so bad?
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I’ve been here. I had to remind myself that the people who get to have alcohol on TV and in real life may or may not struggle with addiction, but I certainly do. That one beer in my hand does quite a bit of damage, and is never one beer. Play the tape forward to its inevitable drunken end in your brain so you aren’t tempted to play it out in real time. Hang tight, cravings pass.
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I see (what appear to be) normal, well-adjusted people having drinks and I think, 
“What’s that like? Must be nice, I guess…”
'Cause I certainly can’t do it.
My “one or two drinks” probably ends with me in jail, soaked in my own urine & someone else’s blood, crack pipe burns on my lips, and fresh track marks on my arms. Then my job & my housing will be gone and, most importantly, my son will (more than likely) never have anything to do with me, again. And that’s IF I stay alive to get arrested.
No thanks, I’m good. I know exactly what I’m not missing.
Are you in recovery or just abstinent & “white-knuckling it”? Meetings, a Sponsor, Step work, and a support system are invaluable, imo.
Best of luck. Be kind to yourself.
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Hey, @DaughterOfTheSea , whatever mantra works, go for it! Congrats on 20 days and coming here instead of caving. Stay strong friend, this too shall pass!
It is not only the booze that you missing. When drinking this became my soul interest and my world revolved around getting booze and places where I could drink.
Suddenly I had no “hobby” and I lot of time to obsess about drinking, it does however pass with time
And don’t believe you have to fight this every day for the rest of your life. We can be “happy, joyous and free” once we get past the initial changes we make to our behavior or attitudes.
I’m sober just over 40 yrs and maybe haven’t a thought or urge to use in the last 30+ years.
Just make sure to build a solid sober foundation first !! Put in the hard work to change, it will pay off !!
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20+ days ethanol/nicotine free, 30+ days THC free (was using weed to mask autism etc…) 1 day at a time I know where it leads if I go back to day 0.
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