Getting serious about quitting weed and only inhaling air

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Hello, I am a 23 year old (24 next month!) female living in Michigan. I am addicted to weed, it doesn’t seem to hit me like it does everyone else I know. I have had many psychedelic experiences and since I have started using it my anxiety and paranoia and obsessive thoughts are truly taking over my whole life. I even get hallucinations and interpret signs where there are none if I smoke too often or too much. The symptoms last even while not high anymore. It is not healthy at all.

I don’t know which parts of my life story exactly lead me to this point. I guess all of them? But I want to keep it brief.

Not sure how much my childhood and relationships with my family have impacted my addiction but my childhood was abusive. I was in fear of my life every day at home. My family, even family that wasn’t involved, don’t seem to care. My mother is not concerned for me and it hurts a lot.

I first tried a weed cart with my boyfriend at 21 and since then it’s been a wild ride. I have had experiences with weed that leave me depersonalized and traumatized from just the intense high for months, and yet I keep coming back. I don’t know why, I’ve been on so many prescription drugs that are considered highly addictive and never had a problem. In fact I hated taking those at times and just stopped without trying. Adderall, less known stimulants, Xanax, Ativan, etc.

I’m currently living with my boyfriend (24) who is also addicted but doesn’t seem to want to quit very badly, mentions it often but I don’t feel his drive for real. He started smoking weed at 13/14. This may make it difficult for me to quit, and he may use me trying to quit as an excuse to go back to carts so I don’t smell him. Carts are dangerous for him because they just get out of control. Expensive, and vaping literally 24/7.

Anyway, I’ve been making some positive life changes like running, exercising, losing weight, and keeping the home tidy. But smoking and vaping are obviously terrible addictions while being a runner. And the psychoactive components for me are holding me back in a huge way.

When I think of a totally sober summer I feel happy, motivated, and excited. But I am nervous I won’t make it and disappointed I’m in this situation at all.

This is my first time deciding that I am done for real this time.

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Will you do anything to get it?

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Thanks for the question! I have a few ideas.

Firstly, I am trying to get back in with my therapist who is super awesome.

I recognize that being high isn’t even my favorite part of smoking and vaping. The act of inhaling smoke and vapor is very grounding for me and I crave that feeling when anxious. Next time I feel the urge I can participate in other grounding methods. I know of a lot of them from spending a lot of time in DBT.

This may sound silly but romanticizing being sober I think can help me. It’s what I do to get myself to exercize and eat a proper amount. I suppose you could call it visualization.

I can take it one day at a time like with other things I need to cope with.

I can remember that no matter what I can say “no”

Like anything, it may not be easy at first, maybe not even for a long while, but also like everything else it will get easier.

Just get through this day, this hour, this moment.

I have bigger and more important goals for this summer than sitting at home anxious and high!

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Welcome @Aviva congrats on coming to the decision that you want a life free from addiction. Glad you found us.

It may be more difficult if your bf doesnt quit or changes his habit to carts but you cant control him. You can only control the decisions you make. It wouldnt hurt to share that youre quitting x day and would like his support and what support from him looks like.

Plus you can lean on this amazing community of people from around the world to get advice, help, comfort, distraction, etc.

There are alot of people here who have quit weed, myself included. Not everyones journey is the same but i find comfort in seeing the similarities and how people have overcome their addictive behaviors.

See you around :slight_smile:

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Thank you so much!

Yes we typically have great communication with each other so I plan to have a good talk with him tonight. Should he not quit right now that is ok because I can still say “no”. Since I know it’s at least on his mind to quit, maybe I can be a healthy example. I’ve already got him running with me :smile: . But again, I’m doing this for me!

I’m excited I’ve found this forum and feel it will really be helpful to see examples of people who are so strong and capable of positive changes. Very inspiring!

It may sound corny but I am already taking immense pride in my 14 hours and 20 minutes sober. I can’t imagine the joy of going through this whole spring and summer time! I can’t wait to be the best version of myself and hit my summer goals.

Thanks again!

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I dont think its corny at all to celebrate your 14hrs and 20min. The first week is hell. Keep at it, one day at a time

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