God is my Savior, the Lord is My Strength and I know he is real in my life in recovery. I have 108 days, and Im feeling good. I wake up automatically at 7-7:30 am and Im a bit achy but that is normal for a 51 year old female. I have became an addict after I had my first son at 23, and have had more clean time then using time, but within this 28 years of using on and off ijn my life, I get back up again. It was when my father past away that I found the Lord and have been a firm believer that he is my protector. Even when I want to get clean and cant do it on my own, I feel that he hears my cries and knows what I need, I know it is My God, and lifts me out of my situation and puts me in jail,(be careful what u ask for) because that is the only way to start my clean time. I can never do it on my own out there in the world. Jail is always ok with me when I know I should stop doing what I’m doing, and I hate it, but I know I need it and never get mad when I’m there, don’t get me wrong, I don’t like being in there but I know it is what I need. So I go with the flow.
I have grown children, my boys are all grown and my youngest is a daughter of 11yrs, my youngest son of 20 Is going to the Navy in May and my Oldest is getting married in August, so right now I needed to get my life straight to me here for these Important events in my life and theirs. I need to be that mother they deserve. God is my Strength thru this entire 108 days. I can go on and on about myself but this is all for now. Don’t give up and don’t give in to the urge and the Devil, Satin is a lier and comes in many forms. So be watchful and always know that if u ask God he will be there to strengthen u, but u got to ask…I love my Savior Jesus Christ…Cant do it without his strength in me. 
I want to be addicted. Not me anyway.
