One day God will help you all the amazing qualities you truly hold that your insecurities like to hide from you. I may not be an expert on life or psychology or any thing at all really lol. I do know that what I used to see as impossible in life. loving myself, changing or being dependent on psychological meds to function (barley but better) in life and was absolutely 100% convinced that was all impossible, to the point all I could think about was " I can’t do it for my kids! I can’t do it for myself, I can’t do it for a guy. What the F*** am I doing it for?"
As my momma and my Nana always told me the answer for every single issue in life that I ever went to through. Jesus is your answer!
Except there is more to it then just him being the answer. He wants to build a relationship. There are steps you must take, sometimes that are very hard, cuz they are out of our comfort zone.
Our comfort zones are not comfortable because there isn’t better or greater out there. It’s because we know that “zone”. It’s the not knowing of the next step that is uncomfortable
Change of heart, body and soul which creates a transformation, that I have been experiencing since April 2022. Whenever I unknowingly surrendered every bit of myself and my will to him.
That day in a miserable, broken world, sitting in a doctors office exam room because of my health. I felt a inner peace that I did not know existed. That day my heart changed. It was what happened next that renewed my mind. It didn’t get better in the world. It actually got worse. I truly learned how it is. My struggle had kicked my depression in the ass and grew me more than I could have ever imagined. I stand her today, not in pride; in gratefulness with a renewed mind! I flushed my psychological meds down the toilet in May of 2022 and haven’t needed to take them since. I AUTHENTICALLY LOVE MYSELF! I have changed! My perspective, words, and my actions.
I experienced alot of tears but over come a ton of fears.
I left from being on the street of Mayes County ok in March 2024 with no money, no wheels, and no options to taking a leap of faith that God was really leading me on this path to college. This marks my 18th week at Miller-motte college to get a certification for med clinical assistant and 4 more months to receive an associates degree in nursing.
I never seen this day coming! But I am walking in it today! All because.of the blood of jesus and the love of God.
What I am getting at is God loves you unconditionally! More than any human had been or will be capable of except for Jesus christ. The power is in the blood. God gave a virgin the gift of carrying our savior Jesus christ so that his blood would be free of sin. His blood paid for every single sin of the believer. There is nothing you can do that will change his love for you. There is alot to learn and go through to over come the habits and patterns of this world! Its a process but he is a good good father! It took my entire family turning there heads on me along with others and losing my kids for me to surrender my all to God and I didn’t even know that’s what I was doing! I am still not fully seeking him as I would like, but I know that he will take complete care of me when I do he proved that to me on the streets of Arkansas for three weeks straight.
I don’t know you, but I love you! And I’m proud of you! I don’t have to know you to know that we are all of God’s children and he loves every single one of us the same! I don’t have to know you to know that you are also hurting, inside, somewhere! It’s easier said than done,
But it’ll be worth it after all! Amen!
Written by: Mary Lyn Nichole Jones
