Hi all. First time posting here and usually I’d just struggle in silence but I was told that this environment could be helpful. Anyhow, I am 1 year 6 months and 19 days sober from marijuana and alcohol. I am in the midst of ending a relationship that was just shy of 2 years (literally got dumped a week before our 2 year anniversary…) I’ve struggled quite a bit lately because I thought I was going to marry this person. We are still friends but my emotional resilience is dwindling quite a bit. I only really quit because of this person and I’m having a hard time finding a better reason. I originally started the habits at 16 because my mother was diagnosed and fading quickly from cancer and my dad didn’t know what else to do than introduce me to the drug. I started drinking at 11 years old. Anyway the reason I’m posting is that I’m really struggling with not going back and am hoping for some tips on how to say no to the urges or resist or ignore. Really anything at this point.
Thanks in advance for reading my lil rant.
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Hi Bailey, welcome to the community. I also started using at a very young age to escpae the huge feelings I had and didn’t know how to handle. I was often told my feelings were out of line and so the best way I knew how to stop them was to get loaded. 33 years I was in active addiction and avoided feeling my feelings. Unfortunately for me that meant I didn’t get to feel any of my good feelings either. As my disease progressed though the bad feelings started to come back 10 fold. Feelings like shame, remorse, anger, resentment, self loathing and I couldn’t escape them. It didn’t matter how much I drank or drugged I just couldn’t escape myself and all I wanted to do was die. Today I am 2.5 years clean and I am so grateful that I get to feel my feelings today, even the shitty ones. Feelings are a gift, they remind us that we are alive. No matter how hard my days get there is no way I could ever feel as bad as I did when I was trying to escape my feelings. That’s something I never want to forget.
Going back out won’t make your pain go away, it will only prolong your processing. Stick with us, check in here…
Checking in daily to maintain focus #46
you deserve to live a life without substances. 
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Hi & welcome to TS! You’ve been doing the right thing for you for over 1 & 1/2 years, no need to stop now.
We can think of many, many bad reasons to use & drink, there really aren’t any good ones.
Stick around please and keep being honest and healthy to you. It hurts now but this will pass too. Hugs!
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Welcome to the community and congratulations on your 1year 6months 19days 
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I’m working but quick tip my sponsor shared this with me say “oh yeah I don’t do that anymore” out loud and say the serenity prayer that always helps. In the end it has to be for you but people will love you here or in the rooms enough until you love yourself sis. Stay blessed in recovery 
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Are you connected to other sober people locally? This community is amazing, but I have two other sobriety communities that I use for support and recovery.
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I’m not currently but my sister in law is looking into connecting me to a friend of hers that went to a Christian rehab and is now working there. We don’t think I’m at the level of needing rehab however some tips or someone to talk to is more of what she had in mind.
Remember YOU are enough. We spend some much time looking for “someone” when we need to be happy with just “you” Then it will fall into place! stay strong, you got this!