Good help from an old friend

So I had a conversation tonight with an old friend I haven’t seen in a while. I’m not gonna lie, I had 2 beers talking to him for 4 hours. He made me realize that my best friend for 37 years isn’t good for me. Me and this guy have been through every part of life together, marriage, kids, parents dying. BUT he is a heavy drinker. That’s how we grew up is drinking together. I know my buddy from the past is right, but how do I tell my best friend I can’t hangout with him a lot like we do. I love my bro and we will both do anything and be there for each other no matter what. When we hangout, he never offers me a drop to drink and he would have 2 or 3 it wouldn’t bother me one bit. The problem is once I see him buzzed after 6 or so, I get the urge to join him and have a great time. It’s like telling my brother I can’t talk to hime anymore. I don’t know what to do bc he is the ONLY friend I have left that gives a crap about me and my life but I always what to drink with him. He doesn’t pressure me or anything like that, but if I want a beer he says your a grown man. I realize he is toxic for me but it’s the last true friend I have. Any good advice besides “if he was your true friend” talk.


I think it’s right there. You still think you’ll have a great time drinking. I honestly feel it’s your mindset that’s toxic to yourself, not this friend. If you have your thinking straight you wouldn’t be lured into drinking, thinking what a great time drinking would give you. Because it won’t. It’s addiction’s lies.

Then again, as long as you do have this thought pattern, indeed you shouldn’t meet up with your friend I feel. And indeed it might be impossible to remain friends as long as he keeps drinking. I lost friends since I quit. I still meet some of 'm at times. But when they drink and get under the influence I will leave. Not even because I’m tempted, but because they’re no fun at all to hang out with when they’re drunk. Boring. Embarrassing. Stuff like that. Take care friend. Never again. Thanks for your honesty and thanks for sharing.


So turns out he’s not the problem he’s the good mate you talk about. Us alcoholics point the finger in every direction except towards ourself.
If hanging out with him is a trigger then you gotta hard choice to make.
I’ve had people drink and drug around me all through my recovery and it’s been very hard at times but we have to remember the problem is us not them or alcohol, millions of people drink without a craving but we’re built different. Doesn’t matter if your mate is drinking or not bc if you want it it’s in the shops, it’s always going to be in our lives everywhere we look. I ended up doing the 12 steps of AA which ultimately has given me a new design for living, alcohol is not your problem it’s your solution to your problems .We need to Find a new solution.


I understand you, I was in a situation where I had one good friend left. To that time I really believed that he was a good friend.
With time I realized that he wasn’t good for me at all because he supported me not moving or evolving in my life. I hope you know what I mean, it’s the “you don’t need to change bc all is well the way it is”.

Later things happened that ensured me that cutting him out of my life was the right decision.
Yes, I was alone. No close friend any more.
And I’m still here, fighting the good fight.
He was a trigger for me to finally letting alcohol back in my life. After I stopped having contact with him it felt easier to not drink any more.

I believe that we’ll attract those into our lives that are our kind when we’re ready.
Don’t be afraid, do what’s best for you. You already gave yourself the answer.

All the best for you :people_hugging:


For me once i joined a group i got loads of new friends i could talk to after 37 years ive got hundreds of people i call friends , wish you well