Goodbye letter gaming

Your Story
1

Hey all. Lately, I have been romanticizing gaming a bit. I’ve had a couple of near-relapses. So I decided to make a goodbye letter for it.

Goodbye gaming. We had a great relationship at first, though never really innocent. You helped me in life. You helped me get a thick skin. You helped me with social skills. You helped me improve my English. You helped me avoid pain. There were a lot of positive things about you until there weren’t.

At first, you helped me with social skills, but then through abuse, they withered away. The avoidance of pain was good at first until this meant not saying goodbye to my great-grandpa. Not when you stopped me from going to his funeral or my nephew’s funeral a day later. It didn’t help me when I didn’t mourn them. It didn’t help me when our relationship caused my father to become even more abusive. It didn’t help me when the amount of gaming caused me to be held back on school. You caused me to break my mom’s trust, you caused me to become verbally and physically aggressive. You ruined my life.

Despite you causing a lot of things, I am the one to blame, since I was aggressive, I lied and manipulated. You were my best friend, but you manipulated me to do so many bad things.

You also are a very needy son of a bitch. I wasted €1200-1600 on you. All money I had went to you. I worked solely to afford some fancy accessories to stand out of the crowd.

I sometimes cry because I miss you, we had great times. That free fire match where we killed 90% of the players. The people I met because of you. Those happy times were real, but the consequences of those weren’t happy.

Whenever I’m around you everything goes to shit, therefore this is goodbye.

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Years ago I got sucked into quake, quake2, and quake3.

I was really good at those games, and aspired to play professionally. I owned the players on the public servers, and got invited to play where pros frequent.

Those guys owned me, but I kept coming back and got even better and started beating some of those players.

I started using meth, and my game improved. I starting winning against players who I never thought Id beat.

I was on capture the flag teams. We practiced alot. Be there or get kocked off the team practices. It was real life consuming. It became my real life.

The meth enhancement didnt last long. Thats why that drug is so addicting. In the beginning it makes you feel better than you ever have, but sleep depravation and all the other nasty side effects kill that. But you still chase the beginning.

I got clean and recognized that I was wasting alot of my life gaming so I quit that too. I disconnected from high speed internet. My desktop computer got old and out dated. I spent more time outdoors.

Fast forward 15 years and I need a powerful desktop pc to process videos and high resolution photos.

Its a gaming PC.

My kids who I have recently reunited with are gamers. I’ve been playing Fortnite with my 13 year old. I find myself becoming addicted again.

He is really good at it. And we play teams and its really fun. We win together, and hes stoked that his dad games.

I find myself practicing when hes offline so I can try and beat him. Ive been staying up late trying to win a solo battle royal. Ive come in 2nd place many times but the victory still eludes me. I find myself obsessing over it. The other night i took second 4 times in a row, and was determined to stay up until I won.

My 15 year old plays minecraft and wants me to play. I havent yet, mostly because I dont want to be addicted to two games.

My kids are addicted. Fortnites a money maker. They release new things to spend money on every day. From a buck or two, to $100 for the best value on vbucks.

My 13 year old works for his aunt for slave wages and spends it on Fortnite. My 15 year old works for slave wages to buy games too.

I have spent a couple hundred dollars on fortnite, and Fortnite is a free game to play.

Good for you on walking away. Dont look back. It will suck you in quickly.

Im working on getting my kids to spend less time gaming. They are perfectly content hanging out and gaming all day. Im taking them fishing today.

Im recognizing my addictive behavior. Gonna work on that too.

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Good for you for not playing Minecraft. It’s also addictive, but a bit less in my experience. Gaming is expensive ass fuck. I too wasted 100’s of euro’s on a free game. All my money went in there.
Please be very careful when it comes to gaming. It will suck all your money and time from you before you know it.

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Thank you so much, reading this nearly made me tear up in the middle of the TS meeting. I lost a lot of friends, but what caused me to lose online friends also caused me to get irl friends. Recovery is a funny thing really. I’ve looked up my online friends again. They respect that I don’t game, they don’t try to get me to game. We don’t have anything to talk about now so I’m losing them anyway. I’ve come to peace with that though. In life you will lose a lot of friends, life long friends are very rare. But despite that, you will also find so many new friends. It’s kinda comparable to the saying: For every door that closes another door opens. Life long friends are neat, they are great, but if you don’t get new friends you miss out of so many experiences.
Despite losing friends, we always find new ones

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