Got to make it happen

So tomorrow I’m finally going back to work after taking almost 2 wks off to get “mental health help” and adjusted to some new meds. My goal was to get on the antabuse and new anxiety meds and hit a meeting a day. I’m disappointed because I actually drank 3 days WHILE taking the antabuse (only 1-2 drinks) but it still gave me an allergic reaction. So now I know and have known I do not do this because I want to. I honestly think I need rehab again but I’m too stubborn to go until spring. I know that makes no sense since its a bad enough problem now, but I just took 2 wks off, its busy season, and I’ll lose my apt and boyfriend and prob job if I just checked into rehab right now. So really the measely plan I have is to continue taking my antabuse but also making a seriously conscious effort to do the things I know are beneficial to my recovery. Right now I just want to get sober so badly. I joined WFS and I’m trying to contribute more on this forum and I’ve read every post under every topic. I’ve practiced some meditations and read my NA today app. My biggest goal is to get in a necessary habit of getting out to a meeting. I need one every day but I need to start somewhere.
Anyway I’m here for encouragement. I’m the super chronic relapser, but I’m still trying damnit


Do not loose the hope @Ash you are willing to try thats the Mainthing, you know the answer of rehab question . You doing good things for yourself as meditations and na app . Thats very good tools. As Long as you doing it for yourself. Keep it up

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