A friend of me and my finace died in a motorcycle accident the other day. We’re both in a state of shock i think. My fiance used to work with him, and definitly knew him longer and better and i can tell its hurting him. He wont talk about it tho, so im just being here for him, even if its just sitting in the same space. Our friend was supposed to start working with him again the next morning, my fiance had spoken to him just a few hours before. He didnt even own a bike, he was just taking it for a ride, an inexperienced, stupid mistake. He should have never been on the damn thing.
This friend was someone we used to use with, and more than a few times he would go MIA and we would fear the worst, calling “friends” until he turned up. Its a weird feeling to fear the worst for someone so often, and then when it actually does happen, it isnt in any way you thought it would…
As heartbroken as i am that this happened, a piece of me is grateful that his family didnt lose him to an overdose, a fear we all had so many times.
Im also grateful that with almost 7 weeks clean, i didnt feel the urge to use upon initially hearing the news. I didnt automatically desire to numb the grief, or allow it to become my excuse to use. Not so long ago this would have led to a relapse, but now i dont want to give up on me…even when its hard.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing someone suddenly and unexpectedly is so hard especially when you can name all the things that could have happened to prevent it.
Everyone grieves in their own way so sometimes just sharing a space with someone or telling them “I’m here if you want to talk” is all you can do.
Not turning to your DOC right now is huge. Although numbing the pain feels right sometimes, working through it makes you stronger in the end and able to cope in the future.
This whole community is here for you if you need advice or a shoulder. Stay strong!
My condolences to your loss. It is hard to loose friends.
Sad, tragic, awful, I’m very sorry.
Also very proud of you for your commitment to your self. Congratulations on that. Big hugs.
I’m thinking of you and family during this difficult time 
I think your doing the right thing just by being there, just sharing the same space. Sometimes this is all we need, even if it is in silence to know we are not alone.
