Each day I realize I’m losing more and more time and effort to this double life style. Professional by day,drug deviant by night. I have been out of mind and the double life style caves in. It’s become impossible to hide…the urges, the cravings, the desire for a high that is never guaranteed.
I have finally realized that I’m in a foreign land around strangers all looking to TAKE whatever I’ve got. They have no cut cards and aren’t even addressing the addict within themesleves how on gods green earth could I expect them to care about mine. They have been the only FRIENDS I’ve had and even though we don’t REALLY know each other or are obligated to care for another the DRUG…the POISON…the SEX the pain…the MONEY. Money that I know I should have SAVED. Money I know I NEED for not only myself but… My FAMILY. I have isolated myself from those that truly LOVE ME but these friends. This drug. Has it claws dug soo deep that not even my GOD given strength and abilities can withstand it’s destructive nature. I’m here for help searching for a way out. Looking within the darkest holes and searching beyond the farthest star to find, find a way out.
Hey B,
I’m kinda in the same boat. Small biz owner, upstanding citizen by day, pill junkie by night. I’m on day 11 of no pills today, and I know there’s a long road ahead but i really gotta stay strong. And so do you. The money counter on this app has helped. Every time I crave I look at all the money I’m not spending. Money that can be used to get my bills back in order. My business back in order. Money I can use for something lasting or making memories not just being high all day.
One day at a time right?