Sending hugs Siand. I am very emotional today, the first time really since quitting. Had an awful dream during the night that felt very real, about my mum who is like my best friend and the dream totally shattered me. I keep bursting into tears just thinking of her and over every teeny tiny thing that that the kids do ‘wrong’ today.
I really relate and find the feeling very uncomfortable. It reminds me of when I first quit drinking, the person I used to be, and I’m not enjoying the reminders at all. I too am grasping at reasons not to buy cigarettes and am just praying these feelings pass. It’s only midday here and I am already counting down to bedtime so I can start a new day that will be hopefully better.
466 days nicotine free, one of my coworkers is trying to quit, she was not pleasant to work with today Lol I was nice and suggested this sight for support and that nicotine replacement therapy helped me
Just doing a little more reinforcement for myself.
I might want to have a smoke sometimes, but I don’t want to be a smoker (short of breath, nicotine stained fingers, not able to sit indoors for more than an hour at a time, dirty car, health risks, money etc).
I have seen the devastation that cancer leaves behind. My bf has barely any family left. I don’t want him to watch me die because I wanted to inhale toxic fumes.
It is OK to feel uncomfortable. Smoking is not causing the discomfort. It is not a solution to discomfort.
It is OK to feel uncomfortable. Sitting with discomfort is part of the healing process.
When the discomfort feels too strong, there are so many coping mechanisms available. Box breathing, breath of fire, 5 senses grounding, do some stretches, play with the dog, listen to music, do a jigsaw, do a Sudoku, have a shower or bath, do some chores. Edit to add, and of course my nope geese thanks @Mno !
That’s my list so far. Other suggestions and what helps you welcome!
One day at a time Siand. One hour, one minute, one second at a time if you need to. One crave at a time too. It’s the only way to get from here to there. Hugs.
@Becsta just some pointers to make it through accute cravings. You can do this! Hugs. Copied from NOPE365.com
Follow the FIVE D’s to stay safe during cravings:
DELAY: We tell ourselves, “Maybe in 30 minutes, but not right now.” Most urges subside after a few minutes when we change our thinking, and delaying gives us time to try one of the other D’s and/or to get to the phone or to this thread.
DISTRACT: We get busy with anything, forcing our minds to focus on something else. Hobbies, snacks, exercise, whatever – Our peers at Quitnet can give us good pointers on distraction.
DRINK cold water/juice: Believe it or not, many ex-smokers find that drinking cold water helps kill the urge.
DEEP BREATHE: We used to deep breathe when we smoked, because our bodies instinctively know that deep breathing carries us through stress. Now we deep breathe without the poison. Note: Breathe in as slowly as you can through tightly pursed lips, and exhale the same way. Do this as until you feel calmer.
DISCUSS: Discussion (posting, or talking online, or in 3D with a friend, quit buddy, online or telephone coach) kills two birds with one stone – it distracts us from the urge to smoke, and helps resolve any underlying tensions or confrontations, which may have triggered the craving
That’s a really good rationalisation of how you’re feeling Siand, and makes alot of sense.
I’ve just been rolling with the emotions today. Not fighting them. Just sitting with them and letting the tears flow. I can’t remember the last time I cried this much and although it has been exhausting, it also feels very cleansing and I’m starting to feel ‘lighter’. I realise now there’s a lot of deeper stuff I’ve pushed away, thought I had and was dealing with it but its obvious now that I haven’t so its something I now need to work on…
Thanks so much for the support @Mno
I did join Nope365 and will explore the site properly tonight.
Utilising the 5 Ds does really help and the urges do pass. I’m just not used to sitting with so much emotion swirling around inside me. Really does feel like early recovery from my drinking and its caught me off guard I suppose. I even found myself back at an AA meeting last night and it brought some peace to the turmoil in my mind.
I’m going to bed tonight with another cigarette free day under my belt. And tomorrow I will do it again
It was lucky as I saw the number of days only after I checked it was 77 months today which I like as a number. Then I waited and checked for this exact one.
Today 3 weeks of non smoking.
Since a few days I crave allot in the morning. But nothing I can not handle.
I feel so much better, running in the morning goes easier. I even run a PR last week.
Stay strong my friends, don’t light that first smoke. It is just a fantasy, in reality it will taste like SHIT!
Today I relapsed on smoking. I am feeling quite anxious the last couple of days. I am not sure how to relate this…is it because all the shit that is happening in the world at the moment or me preparing for my next holiday, holidays always go together with relapse. I gave myself a choice today, whether I am gone smoke or gone drink, I choose the first! I know it sounds stupid I gave myself only those two options but it happen. Tomorrow Day 0 on smoking
Ugh I feel you on the anxiety. I have been thinking about smoking a lot but have managed to resist and the anxiety/ craves have started to subside. It’s weird isn’t it, I think it’s possibly something to do with just wanting to do something to deal with the anxiety however temporary. But of course all smoking does is cause more cravings I.e. more anxiety!
My journey to not smoking has had quite a few false starts. Try not to be discouraged.
yes for sure this is one of the reasons… I am just looking for something… although I don’t know what I am searching for.
you are doing great NOT giving in! Great respect for that
Day 18 today and tonight I gave in
This week has been extremely hard, every day from the moment I wake up until I go to bed all I feel like I do is push through cravings of the habit and its been utterly exhausting. My moods have been erratic and I’ve been feeling very similiar to when I used to have depression. And it’s been so horrible feeling this way again. All I could think was I cannot keep on feeling this way. I have been trying lots of different things to get through the urges but they just weren’t stopping… My whole routine has been thrown upside down this week too with the kids being home from school (due to the floods) and I struggle during normal times when my routine goes haywire… they are all excuses though and not reason enough to give in. But I did anyway. Did I believe that buying cigarettes would solve my problems? No. I got the “fuck its” . Decided that fuck it, this is all too hard and too much to cope with. And now I feel worse because now i also feel like a failure, that I’m weak and I’m super shitty with myself.
Urgh it’s just shit.
I know I’m strong and I know I have it in me to beat this but I also just feel so tired. I’m feeling really mentally exhausted and deflated… tomorrow is a new day right… I’m not going to let myself get beaten by this smelly, expensive, unhealthy habit.
Sorry to read this but I can absolutely understand. I have done the same more than once! Try and practice some compassion and forgiveness. You have the opportunity to give it another go whenever you’re ready. I would also say don’t let this experience of your quit dictate your future decisions. Each time I’ve tried the experience has been different. There’s no guarantee it will be so terrible next time.
I’m nervous about the weekend as I’m going to be seeing some friends who smoke and I have used as an excuse to relapse (more than once) in the past.
I bought the Jason vale thing and didn’t do it properly, but I did listen to the hypnosis audio last night and will be doing the same tonight. Going to listen to the main audio today and tomorrow too! https://jasonvalecoaching.com/
Edit to add, I think I’m also going to get one of the nicotine free vapes that I’ve seen. It might not work but the amount of temptation I have to cave as it is, I feel like it’s worth a try.
I can feel you on this. I got myself into the same situation a few days ago.It was the easiest way to say ahh fuck it I am gone buy some smokes, but at the end it gave me nothing more then regret and a even more shitty feeling.
Last night I smoked my last one, Like @siand said, I am not gone be discouraged and neither should you. We can overcome this addiction. Let’s do it!
It’s a new day today. We won’t smoke today. One day at a time. It’s a nasty dirty addiction. One thing I can say is that it absolutely gets so much easier once those first weeks are done. All success and big hugs. Here’s another Not One Puff Ever pic for you all. Love.
Something happened outside the grocery yesterday made me think of you all. A guy, about 16 years old, asked me to go and get a pack of fags for him. First thought was why not (crazy right). Second was I could buy my own when I was 14 (glad those times have changed). Third was how sorry I felt for this kid.
So I told him no and also said I quit 6 years ago after 35 of being an addict and how quitting was absolutely the best decision I took in my life. I was surprised to actually see some doubt and questioning in his eyes, as I remember myself at that age absolutely not listening to anything a fifty+ year old guy would say to him. After that initial doubt he turned to someone else to ask the same question again.
Anyway. Smoking is stupid. Smoking kills. Hope you’re all remaining smoke free just like me. ODAAT and all that. Not One Puff Ever too. Love.
