Day six. How is it going everyone?
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Awesome. Tonight will mark 7 days. Definitely looking for something to do after laundry, after dinner, driving. But I’m managing to push the thoughts out. Now it feels I’m constantly redirecting my thoughts about smoking. “I’m not doing that anymore so…” I’m glad I don’t have to be tied to the chore of smoking, hiding from my kids(even though they knew),going out in the cold, coughing in the morning. Whew hope everyone is doing well and not questioning their decision.
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Especially driving (which I don’t do that often since I don’t have a car myself) after more than 5 years I still chew a lot of tooth picks. Funny fact is I used to everywhere, including work. But now I no longer can bc I have to carry a mask during work I’ve stopped that. And the habit is broken, I hardly do it at home or anywhere now.
And NOBODY should question their decision to quit. Quitting is a work of love. Congrats on a full week of freedom Emily @Blake11 ! Keep going. all. You’re doing great…
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This is a meh day 7. I know it gets easier after the magical 10. Nothing drastic, just when I feel uncomfortable the easiest way to deal with it would be inhaling a long smoke. Grateful that I have more tools to handle these moments than I had before.
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10 days behind. It does get easier 
Sleep is kind of crap and I still have some stubborn moments of craving. Otherwise it’s pretty great 
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How are all the grumpy A-holes doing these days in their fight with the nicodemon? Hope you’re staying strong friends.
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Day 721 here… coming up on two years which is exciting! The obsession to smoke is gone which is fantastic. Sometimes I still make myself anxious thinking about what I did to my body all those years and if it will come to haunt me later…this is the kind of thinking that led to me drinking using and smoking in the past. These habitual thought patterns are a slow process though.
I watched that movie “Defending your Life” last night, the one from the early 90s with Meryl Streep and Albert Brooks. Not to go on about it, the main crux is talking about how in order to evolve in our lifetimes here on earth we have to stop living out of fear.
As recently as December, I had a bout for about five days during my birthday where I was frozen in fear essentially on the couch. Thinking “what if I have this type of cancer and this one??” (These are NOT thoughts I had growing up…and it feels strange now to even admit this is where my thinking goes.)
In my drinking, using, smoking days I would really let the thought even get that far…I would just squash it with substance.
I’d like to think that three years sober I would be out of this way of thinking. But I’m not.
But now…instead of getting obliterated…or even getting stuck for TOO long, I made a doctor and dentist appointment. Honestly in my 20s and early 30s I didn’t even realize that I had these fears…I couldn’t hear them over the loud noise that was substance.
Now my mother, who passed a few years ago…had the same fear of finding out she was ill…and never got over that avoidance pattern really.
So this is a lengthy way of me saying: it feels like progress. There are myriad reasons we hide ourselves in substance. And it can take a long time to untangle those knots. Each habit is like a separate string. But I’m happy to be untangling it all with others who understand what it’s like to be tangled. I hope everyone out there is good today💛
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Good morning. Day 16 smoke free. Day 57 drink free. I too worry @ELY83. I think to myself I’m finally getting into act 2 of my life happy and sober. Will it be too late? My mom was never a drinker but she did smoke. And she died 8 months after quitting. Unrelated to smoking. But it still is a fear. That was 21 years ago. I was 17.
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Hi Menno @Mno! Thx for checking up. I’m on day 15 and doing ok. Cravings yes, thought of buying a pack, no. Today’s mantra: “I’m bigger than my emotions”.
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Wise words @ELY83 I too think I’m a mess but it took time to realize it. Now that I can address the mess I’m hopefully able to do sthng about it.
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It boggles my mind that I’ve been alcohol free for 1Y 4M but I didn’t kick this awful habit of smoking. Yesterday though I decided enough was enough. I was talking to a friend of mine and I found out that a mutual friend of ours is going to die of cancer. It’s terminal and he’s been given 6 months. That just scares me man…
My wife and I plan to go the IVF route to have kids when I get back in 6 months. I’m very fortunate to be in the position I am. Smoking is the last of my bad vices. I honestly don’t even have the urge to smoke any more. I’m still using the patches the medics gave me. Yesterday afternoon during my lunch hour was my last cig. I’m never smoking another cig again.
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Awesome @CNevarezN! Admirable determination and all the reasons to skip smoking. Who needs it (not me for 17 days now)! I wish you and your wife all the luck with the IVF. Sorry about your friend, stay strong for him 
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18 days without nic 
first day without coffee 
this is way harder 
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Thank you very much for the encouragement and congrats on your days as well! You know, cutting coffee out sounds like a damn good idea. I’ll have to think about that one though ^.^
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Checking in 116 days smoke free. Really got an urge for something to bring some comfort. I am not going to buy cigarettes but realise I have not broken that link in my brain yet.
In some ways I don’t want to reach for anything… But I have done so much feeling of my feelings and at this very moment I just want a break. Writing this helps. This too shall pass.
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Great going siand! And good finding some distractions like writing this out. I’m not sure this is adequate or helpful to you but I remember when I quit this repost from my old quit smoking forum was very helping to me. The time frame described in it didn’t fit me, it took me longer to get out of ‘no-man’s land’, but the feelings described in it were. Anyway, it may or may not apply to you. If not sorry. If it does I hope it helps. Might help some others too, who knows.
No Man’s Land
From tc_guy 5/7/2002
I seldom start a post, unless it is to honor someone’s anniversary. But I feel compelled to share something that I seem to be sharing a lot of lately… and that is my thoughts on ‘No Man’s Land’. No Man’s Land is a dangerous and scary place… and it is a lonely time during a quit. I call No Man’s Land that period of time between about 1 month and 3 or 4 months into your quit, or about the time from the end of your first month until you become an Elder. This is a time when many people slip and go into a full relapse and have to start over… if they can start over, that is. I have some observations that may help some of you who are literally hanging on by your fingernails… or who may find yourself there tomorrow.
The first month is an exhausting but exhilarating experience… you are locked in nearly daily struggles and you get the satisfaction of successfully beating your addiction that day. You go to bed a WINNER each night (as Troutnut would say), and you are justifiably proud of yourself. Your friends and family are also supportive as they see you struggling each day to maintain your quit. And you are being constantly supported here, whether or not you post… just being here is good for your quit. And so, the battles are won and it actually becomes easier and the battles occur less often as you finish 30 days or so.
Around 60 days, you’re starting to have some really good days, with very few craves and some nice insights about yourself… but then again, you still have some bad days. Those bad days can really be depressing… you begin to wonder if you’re ever gonna be able to relax. Your junkie is whispering to you, telling you that ‘just one’ won’t hurt. You’ve conquered your daily triggers, but now you start tripping over the occasional ones… a death in the family, unexpectedly bad news, money problems, health problems, going on a long car ride, a trip to the bar, or whatever. You have a strong crave and you begin to doubt your ability to keep your quit.
In addition, the 3D support that you used to get is pretty much gone… non-smokers figure you should be ‘over it’ by now, smokers don’t like to hang around you much because they feel guilty and addicted (remember that feeling?), and people who have quit may not remember just how much love and support you need well into the first few months. They all think you should be ‘over it’, you think you should be ‘over it’… and the temptation is to have ‘just one’ to see if you ARE over it.
But of course you’re not over it, are you? That ‘just one’ whisper becomes much much louder and becomes ‘just one more’… and each time you give in to that whisper, the craves come harder and sooner. The one way to guarantee that your craves will never go away is to light up, to slide that old cigarette needle into your arm and shoot up. Those craves will be back and keep coming back. But if you protect your quit, your craves will eventually weaken and become even fewer and farther between.
As you get to around 100 days or so (some will be a bit longer)… you will begin to really get a healthy perspective on your addiction. You will see the huge role that smoking played in your life, you will see clearly what that addiction really cost you. And you will understand that it was a very high price to pay… the loss of your confidence, your emotions, your self-control… your SELF. All enslaved to your addiction. And you will begin to see that you can look forward to a non-smoking future without romanticizing your addiction. You see it clearly for the life-stealing evil it was… and is. You see a much different future for yourself than your past has been. And it no longer scares the crap out of you to think that you are done smoking… in fact, you embrace that thought with joy every day.
But you have to get out of No Man’s Land first. How can you help yourself? And how can those of us who have been through it help you?
First of all, you need to understand that you aren’t alone. If you haven’t already done so, make a pinky-finger promise with 2 or 3 good quit buds and exchange phone numbers with them. Promise to call them if you’re ever in trouble, and make them promise the same. These are your ‘life and death’ quit buddies… you are literally trusting each other with your lives. Then call them… often. Just to see how they are doing, and to tell them you’re doing well too. Be totally honest with them, this is life and death.
Second, understand that you’re going to have some unexpectedly bad days… but they are going to be further apart. Shrug them off, laugh your way through them, call your quit buddies… whatever it takes to get through them without smoking. Some battles will be easy, some will be hard. Come here and post, send qmail, exercise, learn to cook, take up a new hobby. Whatever it takes, keep going to bed a WINNER each night.
Third, ask some of the older qsters to keep an eye on you… to contact you to see how you’re doing. I have been asked to do that for several of you recently and I am happy to do that, as I am sure that others are too. We know that you just need to hold on a little bit longer and change your focus just a little to make that breakthrough. And then you will OWN your quit, and it will be a very comfortable thing.
Last, take a deep and honest look at your past life… your life as a smoker and compare it to what your life is like now… and what it will be like in the future. You have to develop that vision of your future, of the person that you are going to BECOME now that you have freed yourself. You have to believe in yourself. You have to love yourself enough to deny yourself your addiction.
No Man’s Land doesn’t have to be so lonely and scary and dangerous. You need some company and some courage and some faith in yourself. And when you emerge from it, you will not be the same person that entered it.
Never never never question your decision to quit! This is the most loving thing that you will ever do for yourself. A few days of discomfort in exchange for a lifetime of freedom. You will never find another deal like it.
Protect your quit. Don’t smoke, no matter what.
peace, Ron
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That was a very, very beautiful read, amigo. Thank you so much for posting that. Day 3 for me everyone! If I can be drink free for so long I can be smoke free! Thanks again @Mno
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Thanks for sharing that, it was useful to read.
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Thanks Menno. While it isn’t exactly what I was looking for, it is very helpful.
I suppose because I went 18 months + and then gave in, I’ve got that thing in the back of my mind that I might go back to smoking. So I am in no mans land! And I need to do that work again to become a non-smoker.
Something that is difficult for me to tap into is the idea that smoking cost me things like confidence, emotions etc. Feeling like shit is part of what caused me to relapse last time. At least this time I know that smoking doesn’t solve depression though. So there’s that!
I also save money and don’t have to structure my day around when I can smoke next. That is a freedom that I appreciate and don’t want to sacrifice.
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