This is probably going to sound wierd but since i got sober ive been trying to do alot of work on myself but at the moment i feel like im treading water a little as im waiting for therapy to start for my mental health issues, one of the things im struggling with is i would like to start hobbies again…im quite creative …my family when i was young often joked that i was never seen without a pencil in my hand as i loved drawing so much…id like to start drawing and painting again but whenever i think il do some i feel guilty…like i should be doing something for my daughter or more chores etc and i dont know why i feel like this…im also a bit lost as to how to be inspired what to draw or paint to set me back off…
How about drawing or painting something for your daughter? It’s important to have time for things that you enjoy. Creative practices are very good ways to help manage anxieties. Please share your work in the artist within you thread. It is very supportive and I would love to see your work
I found guided sketching helpful to get me in the sketching headspace:
If you’re interested in different types of shapes or perspectives, search them up and there’s sure to be some videos on how to sketch them. Make it a personal project, to practice & develop your skills.
All humans need to “charge their battery” with fulfilling and creative things. It varies from person to person but we all need it. Think of it this way: if you don’t do this, it makes you less present for the other people you love.
Love yourself in a healthy way = love your loved ones in a healthy way
You could do it with your daughter. But really In order for you to be your best self for her you need some you time as well.
Thats great and you should do some stuff with your daughter. But as someone else commented you should always have the time for yourself as it is you that is trying to keep sober. It may seem selfish but it will be all the better especially with your family. My family wanted me too seek help for a long time and i thought that i was doing it for them but i realised very early on that i was doing this for myself and it benefited them anyway. Do what you have to do always
Thanks guys…i can draw and paint…i have skills i got top grade for it at school then studied fine art at college but stopped my course half way through because i found when i had to do stuff to demand i lost my creativity if that makes sense…i knew it had to be a hobby but i got so much crap from family at the time for quitting i stopped even as a hobby…wierd thing is whenever i get sober it keeps popping up in my head… like something i have to do…its like its tapping on my shoulder saying im still here you know! Lol i guess ive had artists block so now i kinda dont know where to start again…i think the guilt comes from basically losing myself once i had my daughter…everything became about her and i thought the more selfless i was the better mother i was but now i know thats not healthy. I do lots of crafting with her its just doing stuff for me im having an issue with
Like i have water colours, acrylics, graded sketch pencils, pastels, paper, blank canvases, an easel…i get them out then kinda just sit there looking at them not knowing where to start…
Omg I totally am feeling this today. I’ve been planning on taking my son to the trampoline park for awhile now, and I was almost going to today but decided I would do stuff around the house and just take him outside in a bit and do the trampoline park later. Feeling really guilty about it but I’m seeing already how much I am feeling ready to do more with him again. Also, painting and drawing and journaling have been huge in my sobriety especially the first time I tried getting sober. I’m going to get more into that again. It helps so much! I’m not the most artistic person but it’s a great escape.
I had alot of trouble with anything related to “my pleasure” when I got sober. It make sense since every time I used to “have fun” before that I ended up doing something worth feeling guilty because of my drinking habit. Brain gets twisted by associating pleasure with being wrong because of the bad things or feeling the addiction made us do or feel. On my part it took awhile to “give me the right” to have pleasure while doing hobbies, but I did have to tolerate a lot of guilt. Sadly it took awhile on my part. But fortunately it does fade away. My understanding is that my brain understand slowly that the guilt feeling isn’t necessary anymore, because the things I do for pleasure aren’t worth feeling guilty. On the contrary they are nourishing part of my life and therefore my brain record them as a good reward to chase instead of a path to destruction to avoid and to feel guilty about, like drinking. This paradox that you feel might be there for some time, but if you manage to tolerate it and focus on what matters for you and your family, it will fade eventually. The guilt lives if we nourish it. Being sober is the first step toward killing this horrible feeling that I, for my part, have been carrying for way too long. The joy, on the counterpart, emerge from nourrishing what’s align with our needs & values. If you need to do some drawing to reenact the creative person you are and want to be, then it makes sense that you take the pencil back, not the bottle. Trust the process and leave the guild with the bottle.
Have a good day !
I love that, “the guilt lives if we nourish it” and that joy emerges from nourishing what is in alignment with our needs and values. So true
Wow…thats something id have never thought of but makes soooooooo much sense…really alcohol was the only thing i did for my percieved ‘pleasure’ these last 5 years before getting sober (im 91 days) ive sat and thought what was different back when i was a kid who could sit for hours just drawing anything and everything and enjoying myself and aside from the fact that i was a kid 2 of those things was a lack of guilt and alcohol…
Dont we just give ourselves a hard time as mothers sometimes…honestly i really struggle with mothers guilt… i find it difficult to know how much is enough or not enough i overcompensate and do far too much for her, it was one of the things that lead me to drink…the pressure that i put on myself to be the perfect mother almost destroyed me so now im learning in sobriety to not strive to be the perfect mother as there is no such thing but just to be the best i can be without piling on the pressure
I really like that change of mindset. The guilt will take over if we let it…we have to be proud of the fact that we care so much in the first place and that we are trying our best. We got this I’m sure our babies feel so lucky to have us. My son is nonverbal so I don’t get to hear it, but he shows me everyday. They give us our strength when we really need it most.
Exactly we got this
You should look at Pinterest. Look up art inspo or watercolor inspo etc & go from there. That’s how I get inspired
Hobbies and other activities that make you happy are self-care. No one said getting sober is about punishing yourself.