Guilt is in full swing

So day 3 and I’m starting to look back and realize that I’m still bargaining with myself on how long I need to stay sober to prove I don’t have a problem. My mind is completely negotiating right now and the guilt is like an elephant on my chest. “I can’t be sober… I have all these fun events I want to celebrate like a normal person.” Why is it that every event has to be celebrated or consoled or eased with alcohol? I’m literally on a sober website still in denial. BUT… because I’m on here I’m not drinking. Ugh… day 3 how you torture me. So instead I sit home with my guilt … unable to go to work day 3. AND I’m sneaking around from work like a child. STRUGGLE IS REAL :disappointed_relieved: