@Gonzolady - this “I am a piece of shit” line - where did you learn this? Like where did this pattern of being so black and white and judging yourself come from? ‘I’m either perfect or I’m shit’
You said almost the exact same thing in one of your threads before:
What makes you say that? Where did you pick up the habit of thinking of yourself that way?
I ask because A) obviously life isn’t black and white and to live through our days we have got to be gentle with ourselves, understanding (life is life, I don’t have to be the perfect mom or the perfect child etc etc); and B) asking yourself, why do I feel I have to be perfect? - that question will probably help you understand something about what you really need.
We all have needs, emotional and personal needs, and sometimes these come out in our expectations, the things we say we have to have or have to be. When we dig a little bit into that, when we ask questions like “Why do I say that?” we can find out about the roots under the words - and by doing that we can find ways to get what we really need.