Wow!! Thank u sooo much for taking the time to write stuff out and explain about ur journey. Thatās incredible!!! Uv obviously found what has worked for u! I appreciate the advice!
My journey was been up n down with my weight. Growing up I was healthy and slim and then as I grew up as a young adolescent I started gaining weight. Then with mental health at 15 I started using drugs. Once I got into harder drugs at 16 I became sooo unhealthyā¦ very thin. At 21 I was introduced to 12 step meetings and I gained a whole 3 years of recovery but I also gained 100 lbs in 1 year due to switching addiction to food. After that 1 āyear of eating I started working out at home and then eventually got the nerve to work out at a gymā¦ which thru that, I got a job as a front desk worker for Shapes Fitness. I met many bodybuilders and exercisers who helped me with my fitness and weight lifting. I lost about 80lbs or so. It became an obsession tho. It was actually unhealthy. I worked out at least 2 hours a day, minimum 6 days a week (7 if I could). Iād sometimes go twice a day. Iād prep meals every week and count calories and macros. I developed an eating disorder due to having such a strict diet. I somehow got back into using drugs (hence my relapse at 3 years clean). Working out wasnāt about healthā¦ it was filling a void and dealing with my emotions. I would work out and oush myself TOO much. Running injuries on my knees and id get super upset if I didnāt FEEL like my workout was good enough. Iād over do it and honestly I donāt think I had full knowledge of lifting bcuz I was 180lbs in this pic and yesā¦ Iām slim but I have like no muscle definition. And the amount if work that I put into lifting weights was ridiculous lol I shoukdve out on muscle. It takes work for me to think of working out and eating in a different way now. Even today, my workout was not the greatest and it was eating at me. But I had no more time to workout, I had to go. So I have to deal with my thots. U know how addicts will chase a high trying to get that feelingā¦ thatās me with exerciseā¦ I chase that strong, confident, good workout feeling. Iām trying to remember that itās progress not perfection. And I focus on consistency. I am about 50lbs overweight so my goal is to get healthy and fit and strong 
this pic is much older and it was when I was at my āhealthiestā. I wonāt get back to that, nor do I really want to. I just want to feel good and be healthy and strong and have some definitely and muscle. Thank u SO much tho for helping and writing what u did! I learned alot!!
I think I look a little stoned in this treadmill pic. Maybe because I was up at 5 to work and hit the gym after lol.
Gym high is way frigging better than drug highs, Iām serious.
Chest and triās to close out the week. Tomorrow will end week 5 of a 12 week cut. I leveled out at last weekās weigh-in but the Abs are poking through so Iāll chock that up to muscle development as I have continued to attempt to maintain progressive overload. Re-evaluated my caloric intake and macro requirements and stayed the course. Hoping to be 1.5 lbs lighter tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed. Have a wonderful day, peeps.
Total Beast. Delts are crazy.
Couldnāt agree more!!
Soo true! I actually crave the gym high tho and try to chase that feeling lol if I donāt get there some days (cuz not all workouts are the same), I get upset lol u know āur an addict when? Lolā¦
This is so true. Tbh I waited like five months before I felt adequately stable in my sobriety to go back to weight training because it had given me such a high before. It turned into an obsession, nutrition and calorie counting all included. I didnāt want to cross addictions and crash and burn on multiple fronts should I not be able to be consistent with the weights. Potentially endanger my sobriety.
It was a good strategy for me, I maintained sobriety and grew with the strength stuff.
I was super happy to read everyoneās updates here btw! 
I was a bit shy to post but happy to report that after my long absence from training last autumn and despite recurrent specs of inactivity due to mental health hardships Iām back to where I was with the weights and all numbers growing nicely again now. 
Weighed in today at the completion of week 5 of my 12 week cut. Down 3.4 lbs for the week with a total current loss of 14.8 lbs. Iām a bit ahead of my scheduled fat loss goal, but I have also maintained strength in all major exercises and even increased strength on some movements so Iām not mad about the accelerated loss. Havenāt lost any muscle mass that Iāve noticed. Doing my best to maintain discipline for 7 more weeks until I do a 4 week primer/maintenance phase before a summer bulk. Stay focused, friends.
Jenn āKicking Assā Lastname! Thatās awesome 
Bodyweight squats and some real light benchingā¦ Iām on the rise 
. My mental health takes a big shit dive when i canāt be in the gym.
So nice to see you back there in your gym, Dan. Iām familiar with the phoenix syndrome, crash and burn and rise again, mind and body. Wishing you some peaceful times in the good place now to recover from that. 
Us all.
I didnāt know there was a name for it! Learn new things every day
Lol I made that up sweetie. But by all means, it fills a void I think.
Well shit. You got me over here thinking it was a technical term I never heard of. SMH 
Super proud of myself for sticking with my new fitness routine. Worked out the last 4/5 days. Today was cardio and definitely a ābut did you die?ā situation. But I pushed through. ā¦and yep thatās knee sweat
Happy sober Friday friends!! 
Excited for tonightās workout. My ups delivery guy hates me now but our little local gym is always closed and the 20lb ones I have at home werenāt cutting it anymore
Weighed in yesterday. Down exactly 1 lb from the previous week. At the halfway point of this cut Iām down. 15.8 lbs. Weekly loss rate is substantially lower than before but now at a more sustainable rate. Expecting by the end of the 12 week cut to be down to 190-ish lbs which will total 25.6 lbs gone. Keep up the hard work everyone.