This is what I currently use.
This is what i started withā¦ youāll definitely feel this stuff.
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TY. I think Iāll try the C4. On the real early days see how I feel during and after the workouts
Another trial of handstand shoulder taps. I managed to do 2 standing on my left arm. I have no idea why I cannot do it on my right (stronger arm). But hey, I managed to overcome anxiety of falling which I did. I crashed onto the floor after the second (leaning on the wall with my belly). So you cannot really land somewhere. 
I will get there, someday.
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The manā¦ the mythā¦ the legendā¦ 
Absolutely agree itās great to remind ourselves of our progress and how far weāve come. Youāre an inspiration!
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That watermelon Optimal Nutrition is the best tasting energy drink Iāve ever had 
.
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Date night.
I get very depressed when shit happens to me or I get overwhelmed w emotional stuff. Today my mind went to that edge where it starts to get scary. Not just about having to shower cold to shock myself into being able to move at all, reducing expectations about what I can manage or accepting how many hrs the day I have to lie down or eating a bar of chocolate for lunch (+ chicken yāall donāt worry). But was one of those where I can feel all the thoughts and all their opposites grind against each other inside my head, and sanity trickling out my ears like bone meal.
It was not nice. I count it as an achievement of recovery I battled through the mental contradictions and got myself to lift after all. Like almost every day. Tho it took much longer and a lot more caffeine to get there. Who cares. PB on the DL 102.5kgx4 and had one left in the tank too.
Feeling a lot more like myself again and so goddam gratetul for that, tho it doesnāt last too long when itās this dark. Still. Same tomorrow. Same yesterday.
Stay safe + strong everyone.
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Good for you F. You earned this 
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Isnāt it amazing how much better lifting can make you feel. Most days if I can just commit to going into the gym for 15 minutes Iāll stay for a whole workout. You look great, like bona-fide bad ass.
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Thank you Dan. 
Aye it truly is. I often jokingly think how buffness therefore is a direct reflection of me struggling hard - but I guess also my will to stay here despite. And thatās probably true for a lot of ppl. Such a blessing that we have bodies to help us like that. 
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Youāre not alone in this.
I think I can imagine how you felt, because Iād a short glimpse at that some time ago.
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I need some advice here, is anyone concurrently doing cardio and strength training? I really love doing cardioāmostly moderate running for about 30 minutes or 5-7kmābut Iām trying to pack on the muscle and strength. Iāve seen some very satisfying success since I sharply cut down my cardio to about once a week and supplemented with lots of walking.
I want to get a bit leaner for the summer and I really miss the rush of endorphins after a good run so Iām thinking of upping my cardio to my previous levels which was about 3-4 days of moderate running for 20/30 minutes. The problem is I donāt want the cardio to cut into my gains.
I know the tips about doing weights before cardio and if possible not doing them in the same session. Iām keeping a pretty small caloric deficit of about 200 and I cook most of my food, so I know itās healthy. Anyone have any tips for muscle hypertrophy while cutting fat?
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I train both, always have.
I just try to keep my lifting and cardio days separate.
I run 6 miles on Saturday and Sunday.
Mon - Fri is for lifting and I usually take 2 walks during the day, nothing strenuous. Just for the sake of moving.
I actually eat at a surplus, especially on the running days. But Iām not trying to trim down. You might be able to maximize that through macro adjustments in addition to a slight deficit with high protein.
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Cool! Especially about eating the surplus. Do you do any kind of strength training (bodyweight, low intensity) on your running days or are those days just reserved for running?
I personally donāt know why Iām keeping a deficit and Iām thinking it might be hindering me at this moment. I have a lot of energy and I have passable muscle definition but I have a feeling Iām underweight and I could be bigger. Iām about 175 cm weighing 74kg. My magic number is to add about 2 more kilograms of muscle by June
Running days are only running days. I do go to my part-time job after, which often involves lifting bags of dirt and rocks, but no lifting on weekends in the traditional sense.
Toy with your numbers and see what works best for you!
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Thanks for the insight! Very useful to me 
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I feel absolutely amazing after todays workout. It honestly was sooo therapeutic. I probably needed it more mentally than i did physically. My motivation has been lacking lately plus i ran out of preworkout a couple weeks back which made me thinkā¦ āwhy bother working out if i dont have my preworkout?! I wont get the same effect lolā. But i have been pushing myself outside my comfort zone and probably could use a break from the preworkouts anyway since im not getting much off of the ones ive been using. The brand of preworkout i want is not available in my country so boo to that lol. Anyway, I blasted thru shoulders and then walked 2.4km on an incline treadmill which goes towards one of my virtual conqueror challenges. Did a light stretch to end the workout and yaā¦ exercising today totally lifted my mood!
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Dopamine, Dopamine, Dopamine. 
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I remember the very first pictures. Good job Tomi