So I had relapse after a month of no drugs and it’s doesn’t stop there😖. This thing is affecting me in many ways. Last night I just couldn’t hold it anymore after a week I did not crack.
I feel like a loser because I keep failing 
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Your not a loser your an addict trying to find your way in soberity,don’t be to harsh on yourself,can I asked what you did in that month to stay clean and what set you off to relapse,by understanding why can really help you move forward and not fall in that trap again,we have all been there:pray:
warm welcome 
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You’re definitely not a loser, but I understand the demoralizing effect that relapsing can have on our self-esteem. I’ve been there. Trying to get off a drug that is detrimental to you, is definitely not what a loser would do and it’s not easy.
Like @Lilemm said, what do you think led you to picking back up? Also, what could you do differently on this approach?
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Thanks for the words of comfort and encouragement…
Before I could make the one month recovery, my boyfriend actually made it hard for me to choose between him and drugs and ofcourse I really wanted to save my relationship so I had to choose him.
I decided to fill my time by enrolling into cosmetology classes. I was doing so well until I had a relapse a month after which i was even admitted to the hospital due to complications.
I promised never to touch drugs again but since then like a nightmare. I just couldn’t stop from there. The moment I have money in my hands I just use all on drugs😕.
This thing is killing me 
I did this for many many years I’d say I was going straight but really I wasn’t I just didn’t have money,I know this viscous circle all to well,money now doesn’t bother me you will get to that point,you did it before so you can do it again ,if money is an issues whilst your getting better to you have a family or friend to just give you enough for food and bills ,just imagine after a couple months you would of saved enough to go away for a nice weekend.havevyku been to any ca meetings.or thearpy drug and alcohol services doctor there’s loads of supppport out there.
Probably because I have much time for myself and that makes me think nothing but doing drugs. I tried to start some classes but I stopped and couldn’t continue. I really don’t know what to do else, I really wish to know what to move me forward 
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No I’ve never been to any rehabilitation centers nor visit a therapist. It’s had here in my country to get help.
It’s not uncommon to be unsure of what to do once we know we want to be sober. Here’s a link to a thread that has a ton of different resources and programs that can be used to help us along in our sobriety and recovery. See if any sound like something you’d want to try. A lot of these programs offer online meetings as well.
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I tried to delete the dealer’s contact but trust me I know his contact more than my own contact. Also he keeps calling me like every 3 days even when I block his number. Sometimes I feel I need to be far from that environment.
I will go through the link you sent me.
You are not a loser, you can do this. People love and care about you. Recently I found out that my fiancé’s old hook up is Brian dead from a bad bag. You’re amazing! You need support we are here!
Thank you 
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