Hi everyone, hope you’re all doing ok! I would have been 3 weeks sober this Sunday coming BUT…. my partner and I are away for the weekend and last night I drank. I made a conscious decision before we came away that I would have a drink because I can handle it now 
anyway, I didn’t enjoy it, I felt tired and out of control and I’ve woken up this morning feeling rough but I don’t want to do it again. So I’m taking this as a little reminder of how shit it used to be and I don’t need it anymore. The last 3 weeks have been so good and I want to carry on feeling like that, not like this!! Happy Saturday everyone 
xx
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Really focus on getting back to not drinking again today and good luck 
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Sometimes we need a little more R&D.
Wish you the best.
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Good morning, you got this 
I have a holiday booked 12th September so it’s going to be a massive challenge for me, I know exactly how you feel, but you got this, have a good day and happy Saturday 
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Youl never be able to control it Sarah xx
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We all fall down. It happens. It already sounds like you’ve learned from it and what you want your goal to be.
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You now have confirmation that you don’t really want to drink! Same thing happened to me with smoking. Just one cig and it was disgusting and I smelled and felt like crap! Proud of you lady 
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This all sounds so incredibly familiar. I lost count of how many times something awful would happen to me while black-out drunk. Text the wrong people, upset my husband, self-harm, end up in hospital… ya know, the usual shit. Then I would feel awful and swear off the alcohol and drugs forever. Plead forgiveness with tears in my eyes. Pick up the pieces. Slowly. Promise to do better next time.
And then… well, one glass of wine won’t hurt, will it?
I only got sober when I really really wanted to. When I was done with drinking from the depths of my core.
Are you done?
Do you wanna be done?
Do you still have that annoying little voice in the back of your head promising ‘this time will be different?’
I don’t know those answers for anyone but myself. But it might be worth mulling over.
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Gosh this spoke to my core Amy…i remember that completely done feeling like it was yesterday…horrible as it was i want to remember it…it keeps me vigilant
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Thank you for sharing your experience. Reading this helps me stay away from that difficult thought process and getting into the mindset that I can have just one.
I found that reading about how alcohol interacts with our brain chemistry was very influential in helping me shift my mindset to becoming a person who doesn’t drink alcohol. Because it is a chemical cycle of ridiculous.
The book, This Naked Mind, by Annie Grace, helped me understand this. There are other resources too.
Getting to the place where my mind knows that I am a person who does not drink alcohol has been the key for me.
And gratitude. And support from my friends and family. And changing my behavior and habits. And journaling. And participating with this community. And supporting my brother on his journey. And holding myself accountable in my close relationships.
It’s an amazing journey. Get to it!!
I wish you the best!
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Hold onto the shit feeling now as you start your day 1! Remember its just a hump to get over the first bit and then the urges do start getting easier. May need to double down on your tools (meetings, activities, whatever you have at your disposal) to get you through this hump. I do find being super active here to be my most useful tool.
We really can’t go back and need to re- train our minds - what are we trying to go back to? a bit of so called “fun” and then hangovers, regrets and guilt - not to mention poisoning our bodies and whatever health issues that are associated. So much to life to enjoy and embrace without the use of any outside substances. It is hard when everything around you shows the glamorous sides to alcohol and relaxing means sitting somewhere with a drink in hand and that is why vacations are so hard to imagine without this poison. We need to stop romanticizing drinking and associating it with having a good time.
Wishing you luck with your day 1 and remember we are right here to support you!
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Thanks so much everyone, some very wise words from you all as usual! Xx
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Don’t focus on the negative of this experience Sarah, use it as a positive, you have learnt from how it has made you feel. Your time sober may have reset but the last 3 weeks where you didn’t drink are still 3 weeks of sobriety you’d didn’t have before. The things you have learned to cope with sober and the tools you will have developed on how to say no to the urges or your dark passenger remain with you.
They are within you to use over and over again and with time they only become more and more powerful!
Life will knock you down but win or lose it matters not, what matters is whether you choose to get back up. If it knocks you down 20 times get up 21. You have taken the step and got back up that is the biggest and hardest step of your new journey.
The path you had paved over your sober time is still behind you, you have had to take a step back to gain perspective and see where your new path will take you.
Sending you strength, well done for getting back on it, now go and walk the new path to your goal!
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