Gave in for the “fun” of it at a hangout. Really nothing compared to what I used to get into, but I feel like shit physically (the tolerance deff isnt there anymore).
November is just going to be a completely fresh start for me anyways. Ive decided that im going cold turkey in every manner, and that I no longer plan to indulge even minimally in any point of my future, even once im not an active addict. (Ive been thinking "oh I cant wait till im normal, then ill drink on holidays and it wont be an issue etc.)
Ive also decided to make my Faith a bigger part of my recovery process. Ive been Christian technically for almost 3 years (which was what started my longest period of sobriety that lasted about 7 months), but have really slacked on my relationship lately. I think that needs to be integral.
Ive been slacking on sobriety in general thinking it’ll just “happen” as long as I want it to. Ive got to be a more active player.
Side note: Using doesnt feel good anymore even in the moment. I realized that today. Its more of a craving but when I actually do it, I kind of hate it. (Good thing i think)