Hello Everyone, having another day where I can’t stop thinking about the bad decisions I’ve made in the past. Having a hard time shaking that feeling that I am a bad person and deserve to be burdened with these negative thoughts.
Any inspiration and encouragement that there is a light at the end of the tunnel would go such a long way.
Sending lots of love to you all!
Hey. It helped me to nurture some self compassion towards myself rather than chastising yourself.
In an exercise I did recently, I was tasked to make a 4 column table.
1st column: MISTAKE
2nd Column: DRIVING FORCE OF MISTAKE (fear, low self esteem, shame…)
3rd column: WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO? (be loveable, fit in, escape)
4th Column: WHAT COULD OR SHOULD YOU HAVE DONE?
Write as many mistakes as you wish since adulthood as nothing in childhood is yours to hold responsibility for. Look for common drives and themes in your actions and try to see what was going on with your head and heart and why you did the things you did. Often it was the only way we knew how to survive through conditioning. We can obviously do better going forwards, but can’t change the past, only feel deep compassion towards your own survival instinct or learned behaviours.
Good luck, you deserve peace.
You are not your bad decisions. You are here and now. You only have today to be the person you want to be.
Thank you so much for this, I love the way this breaks down and grounds past decisions.
I really appreciate you taking the time to pass along this great advice.
Ps. I love your cats!
Thank you Tailee, sending virtual hugs back at you! One day at a time
Awe love - I’m sorry that you are having such a hard day. Sending you hugs and love 
We really can’t change our pasts. Nothing can be done with what we did or how we behaved. All we can do is learn from our past experiences and grow. As you are doing now Be proud of where you are today and how far you’ve come.
It does get better and easier. Just try to do what you can to give yourself compassion and forgiveness. Surround yourself with laughter if possible. I find comedy really helps change my mindset.
Hoping your day gets better. 
Aw, they said thank you and send hugs 
Thanks as always Jazzy, like you said all I can focus on is what is in front of me. Having some guidance and redirection from you folks really helps.
You all make such a difference, much love.
This is what helps me when I’m too much living in the past ore worrying about the future. Maybe it helps you too.
This is a great tool! Thank you very much for your support:)
Be kind to yourself. Everyone messes up at times, don’t beat yourself up. Acknowledge it, accept that it happened and recognise what you can control about it (your response).
Drop the shame, guilt, self-loathing and instead talk to yourself like you would to a friend who had made the same mistake.
Then move on. Tomorrow is another day 
Thank you for the kind words and guidance! Looking forward to loving myself more and more
This is very helpful!
@Refreshedperspective
Hey, what helps me is to watch my behaviour and mistakes from different perspective, which my sister teach me. Everytime I did a mistake and suffer over it she would say to me it’s just a simple mistake and she would tell me “if I did the same mistakes would you judge me and think bad of me”. Everytime she would ask me this i would understand how we are hard on ourselves, and if someone else did the same we would support them and not judge and understand them. So try to watch at your actions as someone else did them, what would you think about them, would you understand them and how would you advise them.
Have more love and understanding for yourself, no metter how many mistakes we make it’s always important that we are trying to do things right.
All the best
Thanks Beba! This is great guidance.
Wishing you a wonderful day of sobriety 
Thank you @Refreshedperspective for starting this thread and thanks for sharing your experience everyone
There’s a lot of useful advice I will te and work on too.
Thanks a lot sober family
Why do you see urself as a bad person? Everyone has faults no one is perfect in anyway, look to the future past cannot be changed no matter how much we may want it.i too dwel in the past but can’t be changed so just say fuck it,we will be dead long enough enjoy your life
I am so glad to see this topic taking off!
I think the really amazing thing is that just three days later, I can tell you my hope and optimism has grown a ton. By doing the necessary work, I am beginning to enjoy all that is around me.
Thanks to TS, much love
