Im almost 5 days sober from alcohol.
Ive been a alcoholic since about 15 years old and the hardest thing ive done is be sober.
Ive lost everything ive owned and loved in my life 5 days ago i was admitted to methodist hospital in peoria Illinois for asthma and copd.
They found out i had depression anxiety ptsd and tbi and was coping with alcohol.
I was living with so called friends that enabled me since i wasn’t suicidal the hospital won’t admit me to the psychology ward .
I have no place to stay and my depression makes me drink and when i drink i have thoughts .
I don’t know what to do i know i cant drink another drop ever because its costed me and the people i love.
Im at a loss i just wanna go home to texas but sober living homes around here want me to stay here .
What should i do i have 30 bucks to my name and im scared of relapse.
Welcome to Talking Sober Taylor! And big congrats on 5 sober days. I’m afraid I cannot say what exactly you should do. I do understand you’re in a tough situation. Wishing you all success. Be sure that not drinking again is absolutely the right thing to do.
Don’t go it alone. You need help. From other addicts (tried meetings like AA or others like SMART or Recovery Dharma?). From professionals (any chance of checking into rehab or something?). You need all the help you can get. Don’t try to go it alone. We need others. We need each other.
You say you want to go back to Texas. What’s waiting for you there? If there’s a good sober support system there make an effort to go there. If you got nothing there it might be better to stay where you are and try the sober house where you’re at right now.
The one thing you don’t want to do is relapse. Stay with us and stay sober. You need your sobriety to do the right things to get you out of the problems you’re in right now. You can do this but you need your wits about you. Wishing you all success friend. Glad to have you aboard here.
My kids are in texas and so is my wife and family i have nobody up here but people who want to give me a drink because im in a rough spot
Sounds like the wrong people to mingle with Tyler. Is your family willing to help you move over there? And are you willing to work your ass off to make sobriety stick, wherever you’ll be?
That’s a tough decision. I’m realizing that I make so many decisions in life and I think I’m okay and everything is going so well in my life -then my addiction creeps up and ruins it for me. Whatever you choose, put your health and wellness first. A sober husband and dad will benefit them.
The best advice I can give is, it may all seem very overwhelming right now. Just take a deep breath and try to focus on today.
Today, you are sober. There will be a lot to adjust to and surely more challenges. But if you can stay in this moment, stay sober just right now, then you are already on the path to getting better.
And you don’t have to go it alone. Like @Mno said, reach out and find some support from those who’ve been there before you. This forum is a great start. There are more in your area just waiting to help you get through this like they did, if you seek them. 
Welcome Tyler. That sounds really hard. Can you stay there at the sober living? Or is that where people are encouraging you to drink? If you are able to stay at sober living and be sober and gain some strength in sobriety, that feels like a good step.
If you can get into a sober situation in Texas, that is also good.
I have no true answer other than do not drink today. Do you have a safe space to get thru today?
Im willing to do whatever is necessary to stay sober .
I hate my old self after the last 5 days
Im safe for now at the hospital there trying to help me out with all this .
Its a Holliday today so i cant get into a shelter or there all full .
Im getting out patient treatment after i broke down and balled about a hr ago .
Its nice to get treatment but i need more than just for the alcohol abuse i have underlying problems here .
I’ll keep everyone updated .
So admire your strength through this hard time. You don’t ever have to go thru this again. Sending prayers for strength and comfort.
Was at my wits end i decided to go to a AA meeting and it worked , maybe look out a meeting might help wish you well