My AA home group has a opening for chairperson. The person that has been chairing the 12 o’clock meeting on Mondays for years is stepping down. I told them that I am interested in taking this commitment even though if I’m being honest I am pretty nervous about this commitment and regret speaking up even though I’m still going to follow through. Does anybody have any experience doing this on a consistent basis or how they felt the first time doing it? I will have to come up with a topic which of course I can take from the daily reflections or 24 hours a day but I think I also will the night before think of something worth talking about to occasionally mix it up. I talked to my sponsor about this and he is 100% on board with me doing this of course. I qualify with enough sobriety time which is at least one year of sobriety and have completed the steps. I struggle with social anxiety and public speaking but it has gotten better since being involved with AA regularly and practicing the program but I still stumble over my words even when I just do a simple share at meetings. And I still struggle with being inside of close areas/ buildings and always seem to be looking for the exit so to speak even though I push through. I am working at it. But I have to do this. I also get to do this. If that makes sense. Just looking for any advice or anybody that has done this or currently doing this. Thank you
Ps: I also talked to a few people in my net work/ meetings I attend and my sponsor has done this but I wanted to get some feedback from the talking sober community as well .
Ive chaired and shared hundreds of meetings over the years speaking to 10 people at meetings to 200 + , outside your comfort zone Trevor its scary but remember everyone there is on your side nothing to be scared off .saying that here in Scotland the top table has a chairperson and sharer different each week . im sure youl be ok this is you growing in the fellowship send your group my regrads from Scotland wish you well
Good for you it’s important to do service for you and the meetings , I’m the same as you I find it very difficult to talk in public but believe it or not I actually find it easier to chair the meeting than to share back, once you get the first meeting over you’ll go full of confidence
I’m so proud of you for stepping up and giving back!
I’ve chaired many many meetings. The first was very scary, but I eased right in. I’m like Conor, I find it easier to chair than it is to share. Think of everyone in that meeting as an equal fellow and it will ease the tension. No one is there to judge, they’re just happy you’re there to get the meeting started.
Thank you guys for reaching back and for the positive encouragement and also explaining a little bit of what goes on more than I understood and how it will become normal. I do feel like this is a positive step for my recovery and this is a privilege to be honest and obviously they trust me. This club Has been around for a really long time and has a ridiculous amount of recovery in the meetings. The meeting I will be chairing is the 12 o’clock meeting and is a lot of old timers and solid sobriety. But out of all the meetings and clubs I got to this was good especially in the beginning because they were not messing around and they often called me on my shit especially in the beginning. At 14 months of sobriety almost everything I’ve done for my recovery was me being in a good mood or impulsive and committing to some thing and then realizing I can’t believe I did that or said I would do that and then I just end up doing it. Like when I first got a sponsor, like when I would follow his suggestions, now raising my hand to sponsor. Yesterday when I said I was interested in this commitment I was surprised I even said that. The person that is chairing currently Is stepping down in a couple weeks so for now they want me every Monday to hand out the readings when I get there early, hand out the chips afterwards and I have to share every time I’m there. Then she said she will get me up there to start chairing when she leaves. This is definitely a big deal and I’m not going to lie I was that guy there at that club a couple years back drinking liquor out of the Gatorade bottle sitting in the back and doing pills in the bathroom. That’s just the truth. Probably sounds messed up but it’s part of my story. I remember one time somebody noticed and they said I needed to leave but somebody came out and told me to come back in because I needed to be there. Now at 14 months of sobriety I’m on the other end of this thing. I also will be telling my story at a detox that I often went to pretty soon. I know the nurses and staff pretty well and it’s going to be probably pretty emotional. I have to keep doing things that make me uncomfortable. Part of the reason I let the community know about this is because it holds me accountable the same reason I told my sponsor about this, my net work and the manager at the sober living across the street that I’m still affiliated with. If I didn’t tell anybody my alcoholic brain probably would’ve came up with excuses to bail out even though I probably couldn’t anyway since I already said something at the club. I will definitely use this thread to post about my experience with this next step in my recovery and keep everyone updated
Your doing excellent and it gets even better a lot long as we keep doing those 3 things recovery, service and unity each one is vital for our continued recovery and growth, remember Trevor no one in the fellowship is better or worse than anyone whether you been round 50 years or one day
I hear what you’re saying I used to put certain people on a pedestal because of their sobriety time but now I really understand all we really have is today. A lot of people can have these elaborate profound shares or act a certain way in the meeting and then you see them at the grocery store two days later yelling at the cashier. So really what matters is what you learn from these meetings and apply it in your daily life or how you apply the steps. A lot of things makes sense this time and it really is the obsession being lifted and having the spiritual awakening. And understanding being powerless means I have to work at my recovery every single day and not let my guard down because I will most definitely use and drink again if I don’t work at this every day. Realistically my commitments with AA And recovery in general is really only two hours of my day at most. For lack of better words it’s a small price to pay. And I probably could stay sober without AA But the reality is my life is easier and better with AA. Thanks for reaching out and thanks for the positivity.
Good on ya for making yourself of service, again, to our fellowship. Big hugs man.
My last home group I chaired Wed at 7 for over a year then moved to Montana but just before I started I was at a meeting in Portland and this fella who was chairing asked the group before picking the topic, if there was anyone struggling right now that wanted to share. Thought it was a great approach and I still use it today if asked to chair a meeting. The one who’s having it the hardest at that moment is the most important person in the room, I think, and it’s not always the newcomers.
That’s interesting because that’s what they do in Jacksonville meetings as well. Every single meeting I’ve been to in Jacksonville Florida before the topic they ask if anyone is struggling to stay sober or deal with life on life’s terms. I just assumed they did that everywhere.
Another positive thing of staying sober and I have talked about it on other threads but I’m really excited when I get off probation to do Some traveling and go to meetings in other states. I’ve only been to meetings in Jacksonville Florida and Fernandina FL. When I get done with this probation situation I’m definitely going to spend about two weeks on the road just doing like a meeting marathon. I might try to see if my sponsor wants to come or somebody that has solid sobriety in my net work. But this is how I know my thinking is changing. Wanting to get off probation so I can go to meetings in different states lol. Who am I?
I think we were all the same at looking at others who have long sobriety now it’s the new comers that keep me on my toes but overall I get abit out of everyone who attends the meetings
I stopped going to meetings for a year after the death of my daughters mother because I was too proud to ask for help with my daughter so I could go to meetings and you definitely don’t want to try that theory out for my head got messed up very far without the meetings so now I know how important they are for me and that this is a progressive disease
Amazing that beginners spend so much time recanting their drinking history and rarely consider their sobriety in their beginning shares.
I drank through ages 16 - 33; continuosly sober 34 to 74, so I share more on how my sobriety evolved through those 40 years.
Pretty much our combined drinking histories sound like "I drank, I drank some more, I got in troublr yet I continued drinking, then more trouble, etc etc etc.
@Conor80 That is very true I feel that recently where the newcomer is really what matters and I learn a lot from and I can try to spread the message and tell them what I’ve learned and what I’ve been through with working the steps and applying them to my life. At the same time at 14 months sober I’m also technically a newcomer and I sometimes have to shut up and listen. I also don’t want to test the theory out of not doing AA. I guess my point was that AA makes my life better. There’s lots of ways to stay sober but for me the best way is AA for lots of reasons may be exhausting all other options or the fact that it really helps me be a better person in real life more than anything.
@Ray_M_C_Laren I’d rather hear people share recovery and the solution than war stories and drinking and drug stories. I know how to drink and drug and screw my life up. Now I want to hear the solution. I actually just got out of a really good speaker meeting and the speaker talked about the solution most of time and those are the speaker Meetings I want to be a part of.
@bobslife I find myself currently talking about how good my recovery is and what’s happening in my life more than what it used to be like at meetings but it wasn’t always like that in the past because I wasn’t actually working a program. Like I said to Ray I know how to drink and drug. I want to talk about the solution. If I want to journal about war stories or talk about that I will do that on here sometimes/ on paper or talk to my sponsor or people in my network. Your recovery and time sober is really inspiring because I’m 36 years old and I am going to work hard at my recovery every day so that I can have sobriety time like you and Ray and be able to give back throughout my life because so many people have helped me. But realistically I also understand all I have is today. I didn’t drink and do drugs today. I went to a meeting today. I called some alcoholics and I prayed to be useful and for my HP to help me stay sober today. So today is a win!
The guy at the meeting tonight said that if we make it through 24 hours without drinking or drugging regardless of whatever else happens it’s a win. And we have the tools to deal with whatever life throws at us
*Thank you guys for contributing and helping me with my program. I’m glad this thread is continuing with Alcoholics Anonymous conversation. My favorite thing to talk about because it’s saving my life and helping me be a better person
