I’m gonna have to agree with @Yoda-Stevie on this one. I’m 645 days sober and haven’t AA-Ed.
Yet.
For me, I never really thought about labels terms. I had a problem, alcohol was the problem. I decided that in order to not have this problem, I couldn’t drink anymore. Once I realized this, I read the Alan Carr book you spoke of (along with other recovery books), I wrote a detailed account of my last hangover and every reason to get sober I could think of. That along with meditation, this app, and trying to be a better person and look at my actions more closely have worked so far.
If I ever want to drink again or DO drink again. I now have a problem that my previous method doesn’t adequately cover…which means I need to find another solution. I don’t have money for a therapist…so AA would be the next step.
I also find it helpful to not think about how I’m going to navigate not drinking for the rest of my life. One, I have zero clue how long that will be. Not going to AA because I’m freaked out about doing it when I’m 80 doesn’t make sense if I get hit by a car in a week. And two, keeping yourself from something that can stop you from your current drinking now because Youre worried about future you puts your priority on a mythical future you instead of a real current you. And current you needs priority!(if sobriety wants to occur.)
just my take on it. Stay strong out there
That’s awesome! Congrats on working towards a marathon! And hells yes to one day at a time. I would imagine that the thought of having to run 26.2 miles in the future is just terrifying all on its own. Enough to even make someone decide not to want to train at all even. So it’s best to not think about the marathon…just think about the 1 mile you have to run today. Then by the time you get through with that, you’ve built your mental and physical muscles up enough to handle the two mile days when it comes…then the six miles…the 12. By the time you are actually running the 26.2 running is just a part of who you are. The future thing that was so terrifying a few months ago has shape shifted and looks different from the mountain you saw before. The best part is…now you WANT to run that marathon.
I love AA, but like an immature, newly sober adult with an adolescent mantality I fell for an asshat in the rooms who plays the women in the program. I was warned not to hang out with him, but I did. He was charming, sweet talking and good looking. I craved the attention he gave me! He told me I was growing, beautiful and that he was proud of me! I’m thankful I never “put out” but now I just feel awkward at my home group. I’m grateful there are other meetings and I have some awesome female friends in recovery. I’m just taking a break from it for now. He’s seeing a couple other women right now. I pray they don’t get hurt and relapse. Thankfully I did not relapse. I have completely learned my lesson and stick with the women.
Rightfully so aswell. I go to NA and have seen a couple of them get put in their place there. It’s not on, fuck the girls/women about and hurt them and it will put them off going to the meetings.
I’ve seen many relationships begin in AA. It’s great. But it’s different when a vulnerable person comes in and gets preyed upon by someone that should know better.
Ps. In these relationships I see form, I usually make it a point to call one or both parties a 13th stepper.
I should have known better. I know I will never do that again and thankfully it never went beyond me driving him around while he was high on pills and lending him a few bucks. He told me he didn’t want anyone to know we were hanging out and that is what made me stop talking to him. I miss my home group, but for now I’m going to women’s meetings and surrounding myself w solid women in the program. There are a few old timers watching him. Ugh… I’m super ashamed of myself and extremely embarrassed.
If he was using at the time he will more than likely be back out now, not sat on a seat. Plus they don’t get away with doing stuff like that to New members for long. Go back to your HG I would put money on him not being there
He is 56 and chases after the 40 or younger ladies. The sweet quiet ones are what he goes for. He stays away from the strong independent women… Thanks for the advice. Next time I’m there we will see what happens.
Went to my first SMART meeting last night. Suited me much more than AA and I’m going to keep going. I am not knocking AA. As they say, “you have to do what works for you”.
For those that have not tried SMART and are struggling to recover, I’ll explain the difference through my eyes.
AA is focussed on past negative experience to remind ourselves to never go back. (at least the ones I went to were like this anyway).
SMART is more focussed on the present. You talk about how your previous week went, and how you plan to keep on track for the next week. You set yourself small goals that will get you through the next day that you can talk about at your next meeting.
