After 5 days sober, for the first time in my life, last night I had a dream about drinking. Yeah it was fun but then I was sick and mad at myself. Pretty much how it goes in real life. I am doing this for my 3 year old daughter who walked in on me the day after a drunken night as I was puking my guts up in the toilet. This is NOT the mommy I want her to know. I could have died then and there. I haven’t told many people about my decision, just close friends and my boyfriend. It’s going to be very hard. My boyfriend is a drinker and most family events consist of lots of drinking but I know who I’m doing this for and I can’t turn back now!!
All of my family events consisted of lots of drinking. Birthdays, weddings… funerals! Every occasion was a reason to drink! It’s hard to make that change when that lifestyle is so normal and all around you. Congratulations on making this decision for you & your daughter. That’s really incredible and strong of you. 5 days is great, if you think the upcoming weekend might trigger you try to make plans ahead of time. You can do this!
I had a dream too…but it was weird. It was all over the place. But at one point I had a drink in my hand and I remember thinking “what the hell, why am I drinking?”. But then I woke up and I was upset. Partly about the drink, but partly because of all the messed up stuff in the dream.
I guess it is good that our minds are working a lot of this stuff out I just wish I didn’t have to be aware of it.
Luckily I work all weekend, 3rd shift, so that shouldn’t be bad. Next weekend is my daughter, brothers and best friends birthday so that will be trying. I just have to keep my daughter in mind and know that this will give us both a better life. We can do fun things when I’m not spending tons of money on alcohol! Thanks for the advice!