But all this time I still have barely gone out. It’s an effort to leave my bed and sometimes to shower.
Food rules me even though I hate cooking and going shopping.
When I used to be on alcohol and other stuff I would use it as a system to get me awake, going and a reward.
But I don’t even have motivation now to do work. I sit at my laptop screen and nothing comes.
I hadn’t wanted to post on here because I know the policy not to enforce drinking/ not to be negative.
So I also bare this message: I am managing to live without alcohol and it is somewhat working.
But I really need my motivation back. This has become a very real problem and am seeking therapy, for in the meantime if anyone else has had this please message me.
Hey @Cactus. You are allowed to post about your struggles! That’s why we’re here! It’s ok if you are feeling low. It’s very difficult to adjust to life without our crutches. Alcohol was my reward at the end of the day each day. I know a lot of us treated it this way. It takes a while for your body to even out. After the first month things do tend to get easier. I felt totally zapped of energy for a long time. Give it time! Take things one step at a time and know that these feelings will pass. Check out some of the posts about Post Acute Withdrawal (PAWS). That might help you understand and manage these feelings. I’m sorry that you feel so alone. You can always turn to the forum for support! hugs
Absolutely 100% know what you mean @Cactus.
I’m over 100 days now and the great thing about that is that the ‘drunk voice’ is now tiny and without it’s f’n megaphone, while sober voice is coming across loud and clear.
But I’m lethargic and demotivated. I normally work outdoors but that work doesn’t start until overnight frosts stop. So I’m stuck indoors designing to pay the bills. Basically staring at a monitor pressing buttons.
Bored, tired all the time, …I was going to join the gym Monday and it’s Thursday already!
The dreaded PAWS, as @MissQuinn mentions.
Well, I’m sure once the Sun shows itself we’ll all be feeling a lot chirpier!
And meanwhile, if you find a way of launching both of us off our respective couches I’d be most grateful.
Just looked up PAWS on here and a post by @Oliverjava confirms oh my gosh yes.
I must be withdrawing… cant wait for the honeymoon part
It must differ with everyone- it seems to be going so slow for me!
Hi @Cactus, I just wanted to comment that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling. The motivation to do anything was not there for me in the beginning. This can be completely normal for people and like you said, part of PAWS.
Also this forum is the BEST place to vent about anything related to your sobriety. I do it all the time, so don’t feel like you can’t complain about your new sober life. That’s what we’re here for! Because for sure I can’t always do this with my partner who is not an alcoholic like myself. I mean I can to some extent, but for the most part I rely on my sober buddies on this forum and AA meetings.
Hi @Cactus, no matter what congratulations on almost a month sober! Sorry you are having a challenging time. I share some of the same problems with lethargy and motivation, tiredness, lack or rewards, etc. Even when I had many months sober. (I don’t know/recall your family/social circle situation)
But I have read about PAWS and personally, I am not convinced that is all or part a real thing. I find “Dry Drunk” syndrome also a good explanation of many of those symptoms. Look that one up too maybe. Another simpler explanation is how it’s just Life after the crutch of alcohol is gone, but before many of the other positive aspects and life changes can be built up. Stay strong.
I never feel like I’ve done anything good @JohnSee by sobering up- I feel like I should be doing other things too. I just feel so lazy it’s depressing!
Even when I attempt to wake up and go places it do things it’s so hard it’s embarrassing.
So I go back home and crawl into my pit and watch T.V and play games. Most of the time I just think of myself like a sweaty, acne, fat, lazy “neckbeard”- I know it’s an exaggeration, but what if it starts to slowly come true?
This is only my second day in these forums, but I’m glad I found them. I can definately relate. I got out of a 6 month treatment facility a month ago after a felony DUI and my motivation is completely gone. I need to get a job and get back on track but without drugs and alcohol I struggle to even get out of bed. I have to drag myself to AA and have only been making 2 meetings a week at most. I’ve turned in some applications but have no motivation for follow up. I feel like I should be past PAWS by now, but I guess not. I feel your pain and am hoping and praying this shit passes.
I know a lot of the symptoms can just be the brain recovering but I think that some people also may have underlying depression, bipolar or anxiety issues that could have been a precursor to the addictions and should be treated for a better chance of sobriety. For me the first month was like being in hell and then slowly life started becoming beautiful again and the anxiety and anger lifted. Motivation returned and I felt like I could reach much higher goals. I also had to find a good psychiatrist who spent time to thoroughly evaluate me for once and we worked together to find good medications that have helped a lot with depression and severe irritability that I think had led me to self medicate since I was a teenager. I went 4 months the last time I quit and wish I never would have decided a glass with dinner would be fine… It was fine for a few months but soon I was back to a bottle a night and more on weekends and lost all motivation and felt angry irritable and obsessed about everything and am now going through the first week of withdrawal again. I don’t ever want to go through this again but the meds are definitely helping me at least be able to go to work and manage some of my household responsibilities. I read a lot of spiritual stuff and keep AA sayings in my head like “God help me” “keep it simple” “one day at a time” and I say the serenity prayer when I’m craving and thinking of getting a bottle. Good luck people!!
It’s definitely PAWS, it’s something I think a lot of people underestimate the severity of. When you are drinking for as long as most of us have been drinking. For myself every day until I blacked out for two and a half years and heavy drinker before that since I was thirteen. It’s not going to be a walk in the park. I used to be a super productive person, I even started a business out of high school but drinking took that all. And I was hoping I could get that back the second I quit drinking but I quickly realized to only way to focus on recovery was do it with minimal to no expectations. TRY to make the best out of every day but don’t be depressed if you can’t do much. I’m on three weeks again after my last relapse and I still find it near impossible to focus or do anything productive or be creative. But I’m also teaching myself to be okay with that. Because I realize that feeling like this is just showing me how much damage i’ve done to my own body and mind for most of my adult life here. And I’m okay with feeling like this even if I can’t get off the couch because I know I’m healing and I know it won’t last forever. And know I would rather feel like this for a while than ever go back to drinking. While it sucks it’s still not nearly as bad as getting black out drunk every day, and still feel myself healing, slowly getting more focus here. I might not feel amazing in this early recovery right now, but I still have all the money in bank account I fell asleep with the night before, no blackout mystery purchases. I haven’t lost my phone or wallet or keys, friends, relationships. Don’t wake up covered in my own vomit in hallways I don’t remember how I got to or covered in bruises and cuts and blood from falling. SO, it’s not easy but it’s still better lol.
Hey @Cactus. I was told in my program to focus on sobriety #1 in early recovery, and then work on rebuilding my life in later recovery. But lately I started using a daily self-care checklist to force myself to do the basics. Like take vitamins, shower, weigh-in, drink water, get out 20-30 minutes, etc. it’s been helping.
I’m at day 33 and finally got up the motivation to clean my filthy home, wash my bed I’ve been laying in for 33 days. It took time, more than I expected.
I drank when I felt unmotivated to do things-laundry, work, cleaning, shopping etc. is boring, get wasted and do it!
Now I’m having to find motivation to get out of bed within myself but it’s coming back to me slowly.
Like @JohnSee said- make a feasible checklist and follow it. Add to it daily until you’re feeling better. This helped me a lot. Sometimes the biggest task was taking the trash out, that’s how low I was.
Slowly my self esteem is blooming again and things don’t feel so difficult.
You’ll get there!
I go back and forth between feeling good and feeling pretty low. However about 2.5 weeks ago i went to my Doctor and explained my symptoms. He started me on an SSRI which is an antidepressant. I know some people are skeptical about medications but I would really recommend it, a low dose short-term can really help ya get over the mountain. I have more energy and have been working out which has made me feel even better. When we drink we deplete all of the serotonin in our brain..this med is a serotonin reuptake inhibitor… it keeps the happy stuff in your brain. A lot of damage is done to our systems with alcohol.. i dont plan on being on this med forever but its helping… maybe it could help you too. Hope you feel better. Congrats on your sobriety
Yummy smoothies made with greens like spinach and kale with fruits and plain Greek yogurt will help too, believe it or not. The nutrients help get you feeling Good!
Hi @Dogboi I just noticed you had not checked in lately. How are you holding up? If anything is wrong you know that people here will be very understanding and helpful, so please just let us know.
I found it’s very important to establish a productive routine!
Make yourself move. Give yourself commitments that you must meet. I found volunteer work to be very productive and it gives you a sense of purpose. I also made sure I established a very demanding physical routine. I spend 45 mins doing cardio and 45 mins+ doing strength training. Even if I’m not in the mood, I make it a habit and treat it like an appointment I must meet! The worse thing you can do, is try to recover with no purpose. There’s even days where I’ll shower 1st thing when I wake up, go to the gym shower again, work, and nice relaxing bath when I get back home. The key for me is purpose and obligation.
Intaking poison at the rate I was and the years I did sent me into this spiral. Use a checklist to get you going- remember not to overwhelm yourself and put so many items that even a small army couldn’t finish, yes it’s easy to do and you’ll look at your phone and turn off notifications instantly lol.
Secondly, certain foods can get you going, both physically and mentally. I’d look into making smoothies or hitting a local hipster smoothie shop for that extra boost.
Do this until you feel ready to create some 3 month goals. Write them down, strategize, and execute.
Simple little plan to slap you cross the frontal cortex and get those endorphins pumping. Remember, life is what you make of it, with every achievement, you’ll regain small batches of self again.
BTW, I’m in the same boat as you, glad to see we can relate in our recovery!
x
Sorry you are having a challenging time. I share some of the same problems with lethargy and motivation, tiredness, lack or rewards, etc. Even when I had many months sober. (I don’t know/recall your family/social circle situation)
