I have not introduced him yet. His name is Jackson. I met him in my winter, at a very fragile time in my life. A time where I felt raw and abused: mentally and emotionally. He is quiet, a mystery, a puzzle for me to solve. In a short amount of time without me even realizing it, my wounds are healing and my faith is returning. He makes me feel heard, but more importantly, seen. When I haven’t felt either in a very long time. He backs up his words with actions. He is the steady to my ever present storm.
I am full of droughts and he does not ever hesitate to be my rainstorm. He has swept through my dark and dry landscape and softens the soil. When I am empty, he fills me up with oceans and makes me believe that there is still beauty left in me. He untangles my tragedies one by one so that I can feel weightless enough to fly again. I feel lost at times and that is when he builds me a shelter out of his own marrow and calls it “home”. I am constantly haunted by the reflection in the mirror but he says I’m beautiful.
He shows me that love is not supposed to hurt and through him I’ve learned even the wrong people, wrong choices, can bring us to the right people, right places. He has created in me a soul at peace with where it resides. He takes all the parts of me that still remain fragile and makes them sturdier and braver. He shows me that should I fall, I’ll fall into arms wide open beneath me. He honors the one I love and lost as if he were standing Guard at The Tomb Of The Unknown. He’s the kind of water that quenches your thirst and the kind of shelter that does not crumble.
I’m a dreamer while he’s a doer. He accepts my flaws and tells me he loves me because of them, not in spite of them. He has been my greatest surprise-my most generous blessing. His humility, teaches me daily about strength. He waits quietly for the best of me and somehow, some way, she crawls out. She hushes my ego and my thoughtless quick words. She shows me I need him. In all the ways I never expected to need.
