I’ve been doing pretty strong in my sobriety. Most cravings or weak moments don’t last long and I scoff at them every chance I get.
Earlier I started feeling anxious for no reason whatsoever. I was home, peaceful and surrounded by my loving animals.
I decided to go for a walk to get myself out of my funk but the sky started to feel and look like it was closing in on me.
It felt like some type of agoraphobic thing that I don’t typically struggle with.
Is this something anybody else has encountered on their journey?
I’m saving this. Thank you
I’ve experienced this quite a few times and probably will a few times more !! It’s weird and a bit scary when I get that I go with what feels right at the time till it passes I think it’s our nervous system reacting to us being peaceful and ok and it jumps on us to remind us … that it’s still a bit fucked !!
My experience has been that after so long of using substances, my body / mind / parasympathetic nervous system needed time (a lot of time) to reset. In addition, all those emotions and feelings and anxiety I drank or smoked or used xyz at were still within my body / mind / nervous system needing release. So your choice of movement is spot on (to me!) to help move all that ‘gunk’ (aka unexpressed emotions) thru and out.
At one point in my recovery I also had a bit of an aha moment when I realized…ah…this anxiety I feel…this right here is part of what I was using at…trying to keep ‘the anxiety’ at bay thru substances. Finding healthier ways of existing and thriving in my body is part of my recovery. Some days I am more successful than others.
As you say, and Aybee’s meme shows, recovery (life!) isn’t linear. The more we can recognize and release in healthy ways, the more we heal. At least that is what I believe.
That’s my long winded way of saying, yes, I have experienced similar in my journey. Getting outside has never let me down.
Maybe not straight line linear, but progressive all the same. Just as addiction gets progressively worse, sobriety can become progressively better. Otherwise, why bother?
I don’t want the type of “sobriety” If every day remains a struggle to avoid a drink. At some point, I should get to “I like not drinking” and eventually “I like being sober”
I stopped drinking in 1984, and if everyday since then was a battle to not drink, then I would have given up long ago.
In AA mtgs, we often read what is called “The Promises” it’s a shame I don’t hear more of the next few pages, starting with “And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liqour. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame…We feel as if we have been put in a position of neutrality- safe and protected…The problem has been REMOVED.It does not exist for us”.
Very true!! Those baby steps add up, as does the progress, even with setbacks. Good point!!
My anxiety is pretty well maintained, but I’m also bipolar and so, on some hardcore meds that control it.
I DO know anxiety, though, and how it can come out of nowhere. It sounds like your coping mechanism is pretty solid.
Congrats on your sobriety!
Trust God. These things will straighten out.