So i currently broke up with my girlfreind. I understand that she had to take her self out the situation and that the relapses/behaviour got to much. I genuinely love and want her back but i also need to accept the fact that if I still havent masterd my recovery then should i even be in a relationship? Just torn between logic and love.
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Iā m sorry for the both of you. But giving eachother space is maybe just what you need. Focus on your recovery and proove her by time you can live sober.
Who knows what comes from that.
Take care 
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Sobriety first, then you can build lasting relatioships around the new you and new way of living sober. I know its hard but people may cone and go in your life but the ones needed are there at the times they are needed, they may come back at just the right time to stay rather than pass by. Think and stay positive.
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Totally been there. It sucks to let down and betray a person you love while stuck in addiction. Feeling the shame of letting down yourself and them. You did the right thing though. Its impossible to focus on recovery while trying to balance a healthy relationship. Our addictions takes us away from being mindfully present to our partners needs. Your trying to deal with side effects of withdrawal while also trying to give someone the care and love they need in a relationship. Its impossible to do. as much as our heart mind and soul wants to or thinks it can . The Sooner you can get and stay sober the sooner u can get back to fixing what was lost. Im kinda dealing with a similar scenario myself. It sucks more than anything. They still own my heart as we havent talked in prob 6mo and i still think of them alot. Even trying to move on and try to talk to others. I just dont feel anything like that person made me feel. So ive been trying to put my time in and work on myself again. Hopefully to fix what i lost and fuked up. If not atleast i can say i didnt try. Just cant rush it as getting sober isnt something u can rush. If u do its probably not gonna end well. i hope it all works out the way you wanted in the end.
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Hope it works out for you aswell
Hopefully. i wanna come at this at my best with solid footing. ill be ok either way. It wont keep me from wanting to stay sober and thats why i didnt just try to run back after a month clean. I want that life back first and foremost and determined to have it. I know it would have ended in disaster if i did. i just know it. This isnt my first rodeo having any long term sobriety.
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