Hello again - Slip

[Pica]

Some of you may remember me, maybe not though. I used to be very active on this app. This community is what got me through my first year of sobriety, before I had the courage to make it in to an AA room.

Sobriety changed my life. I got really involved in AA, made so many friends, and found true happiness. It wasn’t perfect but it was so happy

I picked up a 4 year chip in December. 4 years without alcohol. I thought I was doing good

but then I started to think I didn’t have a problem. I thought I could handle a drink. I went back out, and It only took 1 week for my life to become unmanageable.

The first night I had 2 beers. Manageable. By the end of the week, I had been drinking every day and was getting high on Oxy, Xanax, and coke.

I don’t know how it got out of hand so fast. I’m so embarrassed I don’t know how to walk back in to my home group. I was active in my home group, I was chairing meetings. I don’t know how to face them

and now I really want to hurt myself. I really want to do drugs. Why did I do this to myself when life felt so good? It’s insanity. I hope I can get back to where I was

[SassyRocks]

Good to see you Pica, but sorry for the reason. Glad you are back working on sobriety. You have a good base with your 4 years. We’re here for you.

[Runningfree]

Oh @Pica I remember you You know you can get back to where you were. Do it the same way you did it the first time, one day at a time. No one is going to shame you, especially not in your home group. I don’t want to sound like I’m condoning a relapse but I also don’t want you to be so hard on yourself. You are lucky in a way. You stopped and you didn’t die. A relapse for some of us can be deadly. Starting over is hard but thankfully it can be done.

[TrustyBird]

I remember you and I remember your sweet dog and cat duo.

If you did it before you can do it again.
Welcome back.

[KevinesKay]

I’m glad you decided to make the tough choice to come back here and update us. I respect you for that. Welcome back

[Dazercat]

Pica Good to see you. Sorry about the circumstances that bring you back.

@Pica

Why did I do this to myself when life felt so good?

Because you are definitely an addict.
Now learn from this.

Now get to your home group and share your story. It may save someone’s life. You face your home group with humility and no one to blame but yourself. We want you back.

You warmed up on us. Now just get in there ODAAT. Even if you just make it to the parking lot the first time back. Just like when you first started going to meeting.

Oh and don’t drink. We got your back.

[Misokatsu]

Welcome back. You are not the first person to fall into that ‘I thought I could handle it’ trap, and you won’t be the last. Addiction is cunning, baffling, powerful, not simple and easy. Your home group will have seen many people come back after a relapse, and going back is better than staying out, and being in active addition or dead. I’m sure your return will be welcoming, if it is not, find a new group. Getting sober is hard, but every day it gets easier. Staying sober is a different challenge, and it is still damn hard work. We are all behind you, willing you back into the rooms, and back on that sober horse.

[Frank68]

Welcome back!!! I also went back out after thinking I could handle it. The shame, sadness, and fear were incredible when I came back in. Everyone (home group, sponsor, friends) welcomed me back with open arms and were truly happy to see me.

The important part is that you got sober again. Sometimes dates change, but if we pick ourselves up after a fall thats all that counts.

[erntedank]

@Pica

Love to see you back
Of course I rember you and your lovely furballs

Yep, thinking we can handle (put in whatever addiction) when time passed and life turned good & stable is a horrendous trap. Sorry that your addict brain tricked you back in the shitshow. Lesson learned: Don’t believe everything you think and if it’s a red flag up your efforts and seek help immediately. Crap, shit happens.

Dust off, today is the best day to be sober.
Keep going, ODAAT, you are not alone, do get to your homegroup and safe someone from relapsing by sharing your story. Just for today.

So glad to see you back, keep coming here, you are heartfelt welcomed and you are not alone. Big hugs

[Cjp]

@Pica the rooms will always welcome you back. Nows a moment to be humble and ask for help. Good for you for reaching out here. Please dont let shame pull you back into the darkness of addiction. You can do hard things, you got 4 years sober before.

Dust yourself off and work the steps. Your message of relapse and the quickness of the progression of your use can serve as a warning to those in your meetings. Lean on your supports and for today, dont pick up

[Mno]

Hi Pica, it’s so good to see you back here. And that goes for everybody seriously involved in their own Recoveries. We’re in this together lady. Good times and bad ones. Everybody will be so glad to see you back, wherever in recovery land you’re going. Big hugs and welcome back.

[Laraellelarissa]

I remember you! I’m glad you’re back. We each have (and learn from) eachother’s journeys and I’m happy we all get to share again. You were missed.

[Pica]

@Dazercat

Because you are definitely an addict.
Now learn from this.

This made me laugh. Needed to hear it and needed to admit it to myself. Thank you

I am an addict. And I need to get back to what worked for me, being honest on here and with my group.

[Pica]

@SassyRocks @TrustyBird @Runningfree @KevinesKay @Misokatsu @Dazercat @Frank68 @erntedank @Cjp larallelarissa

It’s so good to hear from you all again! I have 2 new fur babies, 4 now, that I’ll have to post. Also some other crazy life updates (mostly really good!) that I’ll share

Looking forward to connecting with everyone again. Thank you so much for the support, means a lot

[erntedank]

Awwwww, I’m looking forward to read your updates and see your furfamily

[Mbwoman]

Hi Pica! I remember you. And it seems you realized very quickly that drinking and drugging isn’t for you. Some people relapse and give up. Pretty positive your AA group will understand completely and welcome you back. And fur babies?? Bring 'em on!

[Jesile]

Hi Pica, nice to see you checking in again, I remember you. I look forward to meeting the new fur babies!

[SoberWalker]

Hi Pica, you already got a lot of great and warm replies. I just wanna say I’ve been where you are as many of us experienced a relapse unfortunally. Mine was after 5 years of sober time. You can read my story in my profile. Came here when I had enough of it and sober since (7 years). It took a while for me to admit I couldn’t handle it. Glad you could do that faster, welcome back!

[Noshame]

Something that i thought today was something ive never done was go back out after long term sobriety. My last time picking up was weed on September 12th 2024.

I was thinking
if i drank a beer right now how fast would my life spril to me to do hard drugs and blackout drink. I use to be a crackhead. Now im a recovering drug addict. Im not a crackhead. I dont do crack. I use to. Not anymore. Im a recovering drug addict.

I wish i knew how long it would take. But i do not. I do however believe blackout drunk would be first and somewhat quick.

Even if you went out after 1 sober and 1day of using
Or a million sober and a million using
And came back alive and good willed
i would have much respect for you my friend

Addiction is a form of devil
It wants us ash and gone

2 things i have advice for
–i dont want to ever test the thought
–if you relapsed right now then posted another relaps tag i would have muchore respect for you then hiding away while you die

Only you can do that whichever way you think you can do it

I went to rehab for 1 day and left
Im never going back unless medicaly necessary or unless for my family

AA alone and NA didnt get me sober
However both did save my life snd started the process by explaining through experience strength and hope that, simply, drugs and alcohol will kill someone like me. I do not go to church however i talk to people who do. Ill go to a online AA meeting if needed and i take my phyc meds as prescribed

Something i do
On a constant
Is think of the difference between life addicted and life during recovering
The huge odd thoughts in the beautiful mind us addicts have.

I shoveled snowy yard and yelled at @Englishd (but i wasnt mad just proving points) all in the name of sobriety.

If i shovel a yard of snow, Because i want to
To stay clean and sober, Ill do it
But
I havnt stepped foot in AA in person in years

And my sobriety date is
sep12th 2024
from crack heroin coke meth k2 alcohol pot and even nicotine

And this all works for me but maybe not you

I quit them at different times and yes i do have there counters i see and i memorized the dates but consistently sober sence sep12th 2024

I want to do good
And i will do good
And no matter what not pick up and stay sober on lifes terms

[Pica]

I’m not sober. I have had maybe 1 or 2 days sober but I can’t or don’t want to stop. I got a new job. Now I have to take a drug test and I’m scared I’ve fucked up. I never had to worry about this before. I can’t believe this is where I’m at after 4 years sober.