i relapsed on 24th august. i gave myself a poisoning i think… but i am fine now. however a day before yesterday i had espresso for the 1st time in over a year (quit because i’ve been getting adverse effects since a while ago). was not the best idea to have it but i was so done… my hairdresser got mad at me. i was going to have my hair bleached but as it turned out he wouldn’t be able to produce a satisfactory result. he said we can do it anyway or you come back later. so i apologized and left. then a few minutes later i get a message from his management that im banned from visiting him. i mean ok he can get lost. he’s mad he couldn’t make money. but i had to wait for him for over an hour and he said “well it happens”.
…it’s just that i was expecting to have a g̶o̶o̶d̶ tolerable day. i looked left and right before crossing the street just to be hit by an airplane (someone on the internet posted this).
i love self-medicating so much and idk why. i have been taking otc nootropics for a few days as well as less than what is prescribed of my psychiatric medication. so i am also self-unmedicating. that is getting me by for now, i suppose. not worried about this but anxious about going to a doctor for some ongoing physical health issues. living as myself is challenging at times as i get uncooperative fairly often.
hopefully they’ll allow you back or you can find someone to produce the result you want. And I hope your mental health gets better and in fact I know it will because you are a strong person who just has hard times