Ok My family is going through a lot right now. My uncle just died from complications of alcoholism. We had him at home for 3 days until he passed away on Easter Sunday.
The issue I have is my mother, 50 year old brother and his 2 sons love drama. They create havoc everywhere they go. My brother and I haven’t spoken in 4 years and I’m ok with that. Life is much more calm. My mother keeps trying to make us the siblings we were before he hurt me and my family. I have apologized for my part he still blames me for everything. Mom keeps meddling and it brings up all the old pain and anger.
I explained that I don’t want to talk about him hear about him or his family because it hurts. She Will Not stop pushing the issue With every family member. He has taken no responsibility for his actions towards the entire family and blames me for everything. I tried to tell my mother again to let God have control. Things will work out how they are suppose to.
I explained rather forcefully to her today that I could not be at the funeral with him because of his arrogance. While I was trying to figure out how to handle everything she called and told him he couldn’t come. Meanwhile I decided I couldn’t control him. I will not to attend the funeral. I was one of his care takers and spent the whole time with him while he was dying. I made my peace with his death.
She is trying to lay a guilt trip on me. My life is calm and relaxed without them in it.
I just needed to vent. I know what I have to do but it’s hard to cut out a mother who is so intertwined. We share babysitting of my granddaughter. As well as caring for other family members
Damn family 
They installed our buttons and know how to push them.
Sorry to hear about your uncle and how difficult it must be to center yourself in all of this chaos. Just remember to take a deep breath and make sure you are taken care of in all of this.
Thank you. I decided to take the next 2 days off and take care of me. I’m shutting off my phone and my husband offered to field all the phone calls. I am so proud of how much I have changed. If I were drinking the outcome would be very different.
Sounds like you have a good plan for taking care of yourself. An old timer told me there isn’t anything a drink is going to fix or make better. Hang in there.
I’m so sorry to hear about your uncle. I know his passing is probably bringing up so many things for you. Family drama just adds to it.
Reading about your growth though this and your knowing that you have to take care of yourself is a beautiful thing. Keep taking those breaths and loving the sober person you are becoming…
@Zoesgram1 I have just recently disengaged from my brother. It has taken a long time for me to finally let go of the fantasy that he cared about me. He is a sick and twisted soul and smokes pot daily. Mom was I hospital last month and he crossed the line with his anger over how I was handling everything for her. She recovered and returned home. Then, she called my husband and me over to her house. She wanted us to forgive and forget again. She wants all of us to get together for dinner bc we’re family. After much discussion, I agreed, but said the first time he was rude or disrespectful, we were walking out. My Mom created this situation bc all my life she has said that I need to stand up to him when he has been an @$$#%)(. So, now I am and she’s pissed at me…Not him. As long as I can remember she has just shrugged her shoulders and said, that’s the way he is. So, he’s spiralling out of control and alienating the whole family, not just me. She’s 88 and has lived long enough to see him self-destruct. I used to think we could work things out and be able to handle her estate after she died. But I know now that will be impossible. His brain is fried and he is mentally off. But that doesn’t mean I will allow him to verbally abuse me. I’m DONE. I hear YOU!
Thank you. It is not easy to put myself first. My mom and oldest daughter are needy. I understand why they are needy but sometimes I need a damn break . Going out to plant wildflowers soon and start my garden now that it has finally stopped raining.
Omg I’m sorry to hear you are traveling a similar path as me. We can do this. I cut him out of my life 4 years ago and he decided to cut most of the family off then. Life has been so much better for me. I wish my mom could just love both of us separately and enjoy the fact that she has both of her kids and all of her grandchildren in her life.
I pray to my God every night for help in with my mom and brother, to take away their pain and my mental obsession over him being an ass. But not in those words.
Praying for a peaceful resolution for all of us. If you ever need to talk let me know. I try to check in once a day.
@Zoesgram1 Thanks. You’re right. We can do this. I’m grateful that I have finally learned to stand up for myself. 
(Hugs) I have some high drama siblings myself. I just want to tell them to manage their own life;. If I want their opinion, I ask for it.
All I can say is hang in there!