Thanks for acknowledging my first step. It is really nice to read that!
Yes, I think I need to somehow get a sponsor. Is there a way to do this without going to NA?
Thank you for your words of encouragement! I do tend to be hard on myself and I know with this, it has been really draining because so many things about this just goes against my own principles! But like you said, one day at a time!
This is how it works. My DOC was alcohol. We alcoholics know all about “I’ll just have one” or “I’m going to moderate”.
It’s not what’s got ahold of you that matters. It’s the fact that something has you, and you have to fight to get free of it.
I spent years trying to moderate, and I rarely could.
Welcome. I am glad you are here. I hope you will stay, engage, learn, share and grow.
Yesss got to throw anything meth related out. Mourn meth sex. You cannot have it anymore. It’s hard getting your head around this. I’ve given up a number of times since September. I keep wishing each time I go back to it it will be like it used to be before I was addicted to it… and it never will be. I used meth recreationally for 4 ish years, and in an addictive way for 2. No going back to recreational use now… On with a new chapter of life, a brighter one, one where I can be in control. My sobriety journey is exciting now since I mourned meth sex and reframed my outlook on life.
Best wishes to you on your journey.
I,m glad that your working on freeing yourself from this addiction,your actually the first person from the UK that I,'ve heard from with an addiction to meth. I’m so glad that it hasn’t taken off here like it has in the US or Australia etc! Keep working at it bud. 
Using substances recreationaly…I still would like to know why this happens to some of us: using them recreationaly for years without any problem and then losing total control over the use…
thAt was my story too. After it became full blown addiction i tried countless times to have control again and use it recreationaly like in the past with no success. Why?!?!
At least now i know theres no recreationaly, just avoid it completely 
Yeah most people i know who have a problem with it here are either from asia, US or gay men. Only know 2 people who had a problem with it who don’t fall into that grouping.
Not sure how to quote on this site yet, but the transition from recreational to addict was pretty straightforward. I use to sniff and use it to stay awake for work. Soon as i started smoking it and using it to have sex, well that was it, instant addict - I think it took me a while to realise it properly (altho maybe i knew it subconsciously).
Even in the past, where i’ve said i’ll just get some and sniff it so I can use it more responsibly/recreationally, as soon as I have it in my possession i’d give myself about 5 minutes max before i’m smoking it and searching for hookups :s
Good job Isaac 
You sure don,t!! A lot of what you,vemjust written rings true for me also,i recognise that even my pot smoking at a young age was done to absolute excess. Theres no doubt about it i,ve veen an addict through and turough all of my life!
Welcome! You’ve made a Great step entering Our Circle of Experts (Per Say)! With all the help and advice you receive here. You have to find somewhere close to where you Live and Reach Out there! You need Hands On Help! Proper Detoxing and Whatnot!! Find an Actual NA group in your area. They’re a Godsend for Some people! These are just suggestions! I wish you the Best! Stick around! Your in the Right Place!
That all makes sense. I think we are predisposed for addiction. I was also, since a kid, very impulsive and liked the taste of excess in anything (food, adrenalin, love, etc). Still, what is weird is that for many years i could use cocaine without much problem, i could do a few bumps, stop and go to bed. Then it progressed to the complete lost of control when one bump would make me do the entire stash.
I think it has to do with our brains being destroyed maybe because of the tolerance? In the beginning 4grams would last me weeks while now i could thru 4grams in a few hours. That excessive amount we need to use after we build a strong tolerance has to do with destroying your brain connections and dopamine and turn into a fiend that cant stop.
Ah my lovely friend Stella you have just posted my life story different drugs but same ending. I’m so greatful we have both come to our senses. God bless you my friend x
Gay man here too struggling to stay off meth. 77 days clean, but it’s not easy.
Hang in there. I would definitely enjoy keeping in touch. I wish there were more gay men on here with a similar meth addiction. No offense to non gay persons, but they don’t always get how entrenched meth can be in the gay male community: connected to random hookups and porn.
Best wishes.
hey just wanted to check and see how your doing im just taking it one day at a time as well.
Back again. Had 23 months clean. Now back to day 5. Big sighhhhh. Still I know I can do this, 23 months was great, life was so much better in every way. I had let certain things slip, thinking I could use porn, and mdma (really?!). Let my work/life balance get unbalanced - lot’s of stress, no relaxation, tipped me over the edge. This is just a blip on my road to recovery. Last time 23 months, this time life god willing
