Almost three days ago I relapsed again and I’m not proud of it at all. I’m literally killing myself and I don’t mind it.
Yesterday I had to go buy groceries and was so tempted to buy alcohol (I was really in pain, physically and emotionally), instead I bought lot of healthy food so that I can cook, cause I’m pretty good at it, and distract myself.
Now I feel better, full of energies and to stop myself from drinking I’m cleaning all my house, doing all the things I wasn’t able to do when I was drunk.
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Welcome back. One day at a time. Find all the distractions you can. 
4 days here, know exactly how you feel. Group meetings have been helping me a ton you oughta look into it!
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Yes relapse is hard. Moderation never works. Just plain quitting is only option. Good job! Keep up the good work. And check for the missing remote in the couch cushions.
I’m doing pretty well today, thanks for asking! 
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