My name is Sarah and I’m an alcoholic.
Yesterday was the hardest day I’ve had in my sobriety and maybe in my entire life. I almost gave up. The funny thing is sobriety has been the only thing I haven’t quit. I thought I had lost everything in my drinking days but man was I wrong. I have stripped myself of everyone I know. I have quit 2 jobs. I am lonely and scared right now. I almost drank out of spite yesterday. For everyone that has told me how much of an ass hole I was. For everyone that has said how quiet I am now. For the people who I thought were my friends but would rather get drunk than hangout. I feel more out of place in society being sober than I ever did as an alcoholic. I felt more accepted. I don’t want to go back because I know how shitty that life is but man would I love some company. Does anyone else have a really hard time fitting in? I haven’t been to a meeting in 2 months. I almost feel out of place there. What is wrong with me?
One day at a time.
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Dear Sarah,
I totally feel the same! 60 days for me today and I am feeling the lonliness more than ever. Its actually hard to accept the I am lonier than before or even to admit and share it with other people. I am also questioning why this is the case and what’s different with me… but I think thats just part of the journey and maybe its just that we see more clearly how important sociao connections are for us. And in addition, I think that sobriety will teach us to enjoy our own company (one day :))…
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Completely understand.
I cut out 99% of my friends and the lack of going out has raised my social anxiety. But we are in a learning process, relearning how to behave in all the environment’s we were inebriated in.
I think joining yoga classes, going out more, etc should help with the loneliness. Hang in there!
If you need a friend I’m here for you 
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Nothing. Keep going strong.
I totally understand. Almost everyone I know was a drinking buddy who I thought was a close friend. Taking the alcohol out of the equation really shines a light on the truth of a relationship.
Putting ourselves out there without our liquid courage is tough. All of the obvious choices circle around bad vices, but there are lots of communities forming around the really great healthy vices. Maybe look into running groups or art classes or something like that in your area. It’d be a great chance to meet people and give you an opportunity to make some new friendships built on a solid, sober foundation.
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