Hello everyone hope everyone is blessed and succeeding at they’re sobriety. My husband is due to be released next week before Father’s Day from his 28-day rehab. I’m a little nervous because I’ve come to grips with the fact that during his recovery he may have to not see his father whom he is very close to, due to the fact that he still drinks. His father said when he comes to visit that he won’t drink so that’s all I can go on and not stress too much about the what ifs. Just asking anyone’s opinion where they had to not be around a parent oh loved one due to the fact that they occasionally still drink, and how did you handle dealing with that? When I was going through my sobriety 20 years ago everyone was on board with me and didn’t drink around me and didn’t miss drinking either drinking is one of his dad’s way of unwinding and we get along really great, so it does break my heart to know that he probably will be having to not be around his oldest son whom he’s close to do this don’t get me wrong his dad is a great man and on board with his sobriety and very happy that he finally went to rehab…but still not enough to quit totally for his son 
once again thanks to everyone and their advice I love this group 
If his dad isn’t going to drink when his son is around I don’t see a problem. If his dad is going to drink it’ll still be up to your husband if he’s comfortable or not being around it. Of course I would suggest not being around alcohol at all in early sobriety.
I didn’t stay away from family who drank but they didn’t drink around me too often.
Are you still sober?
I’m in agreement with Dan 
It sounds like it’s a decision to make day by day: take it one day at a time and remember “first things first”. Sobriety is the priority, so as long as he keeps that at the centre, and remembers that the decisions he makes need to not jeopardize his sobriety, he should be ok.
I am wishing you and your husband all the best on this journey.
I can only share what has worked for me, and I can say that in my sobriety I have never been able to avoid alcohol entirely. If they used to drink together, and your husband finds that triggering his sensation to want to drink then he has to be the one that is honest with you and himself about this…and he has to navigate what his triggers are. I have had 2 journeys in sobriety, one with a long leg and this continuation I am on now. I know I had to feel out each occassion and situation I was going to step in to in the early days, and sometimes that meant not goinf to things if I felt it was risky for me. Once I find myself more comfortable in my sobriety, I dont find that pther peoples drinking bothers me (in the sense ofbwanting a drink), so I dont find the need to avoid people simply because they are drinking. My family and most of our friends drink, and its not that I dont notice it but I jist dont have a desire to join in. I think Im sharing this to say that, maybe in the beginning he will see his dad less and I know this makes you feel sad and may be hard for them both as well…but that doesnt mean your husband will always be in such a fragile place, and that it may just take time. This is just my experience of course; but I wanted to share.
Its important for your husband to listen to his triggers when they are yelling at him, but as sobriety goes he will grow into what he is comfortable with and I imagine whatever those decisions are, they will just be whats right for you both. Xo.
Yes I no longer drink and he would be with me. But he would still want to visit his dad weekly. Thanks for your advice it helps 
Congratulations on your sobriety and strength and staying that way, and thank you for your advice yes that’s why I said I won’t worry about the what ifs because at the end of the day sobriety is not just 28 days is a lifetime commitment to overcome
Yes I’m sober and he would be with me but he wants to visit his dad weekly. I already told my self from here on out he has to want to want sobriety for life and that’s what will keep him sober. Promised myself that I will take care of my mental health this time around, not like before he went in rehab stressing myself All the time 
With only 28 day’s clean. Its a huge risk. I have to agree you cant worry about the what ifs. From personal experience. With even 4 years clean, i still have thoughts about using to feel numb again. I also still have to distance from family that says they are on board with my recovery. As soon as i set boundaries with some family. It starts a war all the time. They continue to break healthy boundaries, which i set in place. They would continue to make me feel guilty or seeking me to be controlled by them. I dont know anything about his family, or his thoughts. I can only share experience on this matter. Only what you have shared on this post. I would suggest that when he gets released talk to him, ask him if he can walk away, or be trigger by someone drinking. If he says no, tell him its up to him to see family that may be a risk to his recovery. I would also suggest that you will support his decisions, also i would suggest do not give him an ultimatum, what i mean by this is by telling him if he doesn’t do this or this thats an ultimatum side of things. Which will push him way from you.
@Vii
Congratulations on your sobriety and willpower in keeping you sober. No the only ultimatum I made was he was going to get help or I was going to walk away and divorce him because he became a belligerent verbal abusing drunk. Now there’s no more ultimatum his decisions are his decisions and I have to stay mentally well for myself and continuing living a healthy life. Thanks so much for your advice yes I will support him in his decision whatever way he decides to deal with triggers.
It may helpful for both of you guys to sit down and talk about triggers for both you guys. It helped me and my wife with our issues during active addiction, after i started to learn about myself, learn that AA or NA rooms are a good start, not only going to meetings, doing step work with a sponsor is what helped me the most. I wouldn’t say that you gave him an ultimatum on getting help to start recovery, i would say more of a boundary you set, cause of his behaviors. I would suggest maybe you find an alnon meeting. See what they got to offer to help you with this situation. My wife did that for a year straight. It helped her understand why i acted the same way during my addiction, it also helped her with being supportive with me with my addiction. I found out i have a addictive personality.
Best of luck @Vii
Yes I’m going to try meetings too and thanks for your advice is very helpful knowing that it works for you and your wife, I’m going to try all your suggestions
Your more then welcome @Vii
Also try to go to AA meetings with him. To show him more supportiveness. I posted my life story on motivation and NA. If you like to see how my recovery has been for me for the last 4 years. The only reason why i suggested the first sentence is that i dont know your drug of choice.
Yes I plan to attend meetings with him as well, I’ve been to my fair share during my recovery 20 years ago and they really helped me as well and I will check out your post on your sobriety journey
Oh and I’m 20 years sober from alcoholism that was my drug of choice but I beat the liquid demon as I used to call it and now I’m going to help him do the same
Wow. Keep up the awesome work! Show him and lead by example. Maybe he realized he hit rock bottom. Alot of us need to hit that rock bottom of the lowest to the lowest of no returning back. For an example. I hit my rock bottom, were i put my wife within the limits of lying to both of our probation officer, when i violated probation is the day i got humility within myself. I did not ask my wife to lie, or not tell the truth. She did it to protect her, myself from both of us catching more charges. I am so grateful for the woman i have in my life. Shes been a blessing since we first met in 2015.
Good night, @Vii
Glad everything worked out so well for you keep up the good work and thank you for your kind words
Your welcome.
Hard not to worry when its your hubby though, and I can definitely appreciate that. All you can do is support him through it, and I wish you both nothing but the best. Xo. Check in and let us know how its going, we’re always here xo.
Thanks so much and yes I’m always going to check in on this site to give advice and receive advice from wonderful people such as yourself that take the time out to help others through this tough time 