Haven’t been here in a while I hope everyone is good. I’m 9 months good. Worked a lot of extra hours this week and came home yesterday to wife and teenage daughter fighting. Had an abnormal amount of stress all week. So I went to the store and bought a half pint of whisky to keep in my pocket as I did an overwhelming amount of yard work away from the fighting. Since I have not been drunk for a long time, I under-estimated the effect it had on me and I think my wife knows. She didn’t say anything but Im sure I was acting sloppy. I don’t want to tell her I fell off the wagon.
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Best to be honest my friend. Jump back on the sober path and learn from this. What other coping skills could you have used in these times of high stress? Where there thoughts of picking up before? Could you see this lapse coming?
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Thanks for response. Feel the need sometimes, but can normally mitigate it. I worked a ton of hours this week I was the only one in the shop. Wife and kid were screaming at each other like they do and my attempt to fix it failed. I made a snap decision when I went to the gas station for fuel. I figured I would just sip a little as I was driving the tractor. After 5 hours of yard work by myself, I finished the half pint. I really didn’t even give it much thought because I would always drink as I did the work.
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I used to blame my relapses on work and family stress. I’ve found I can stay sober, with help, through anything. You say you’ve stayed away from talking sober, and your response to the stress was to plan a drinking episode.
Are you done yet? Answer that honestly for yourself only. Then get busy getting sober if that’s your answer.
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I was doing so well for so long and I could control urges fairly easily. I’m ashamed i didn’t even think about what I was doing when I went to the liquor section. It was like a reflex kind of even though I went all fall and winter with no trouble.
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It’s addiction still ruling part of your brain. You had an abnormal amount of stress SO you went to the store to get alcohol. You still think alcohol relieves stress. And more general: you still think alcohol has something positive to offer you. I feel you need to work your recovery. Brutal honesty is one of the things you need to work on. To yourself in the first place. Wishing you all success.
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This is part of what it takes to answer the question “Are you done yet?”. Is there anything left in a drink for you, @BingoFuel ?
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No I went there for fuel. But they sell liquor there. It’s weird how I just casually did what I always did with no reservations. I go in there all the time for groceries and such for months with no problems. When I’m in the yard and field, though I am alone. For a good while. It’s the best time to catch a small up and not be around anyone.
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Shame is what it gets me. I had this false sense of control for a while I guess I thought I could handle it better.
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I was a drunk for 20 years. What worked for me was prayer and following Jesus. There’s a reason alcohol is called “spirits”. I don’t even have the urge to drink anymore - he removed it. Some people have success with AA if you want to try that route. It didn’t work for me but for some people it does.
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I REALLY REALLY want to quit but im struggling
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Amen!Jesus is the only permanent answer!
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There is a reason why Jesus said “I am the way, the Truth and the Life…” and is called “The Prince of Peace”. I never had peace until I developed a relationship with Jesus. Again I don’t tell anyone what to do, but this is what worked for me when everything else failed and I was staring at a road to death.
A lot of what your saying I have recently felt,my life was in control, i lent money ill never get back,smoked money ill never see again, but im back,and know it can get better.
Jesus is the answer for some,but you can find your own way.
My advice is to tell your wife,and daughter,hiding this might just add to the stress.
Happy your here,
