I went to rehabilitation in August of 2019 and made it 15 days after I got out. Still not admitting that I had a problem. “You say I cant go a day without drinking well I showed you I just went 45”. Relapsed for about a week and drank myself into a major depression. I am a wife and mother and was letting everyone down. I knew I needed to go back to treatment even though I did not want to leave my children again. I did not them to see me in my current state. I have always had depression and anxiety issues and was taking meds and drinking on top of them. It was not good. I checked back into the same rehab I had just checked out of a month earlier. This time thing were different. I looked to my higher power and worked on building my relationship with him. I stayed 45 days and have now been sober for 169 days. I was just getting used to my new routine of new job (that I loved), church, meetings, being a even better mom then I have been in a while, and councling before the world shut down. No more church or meeting or even work. Trying to figure how to deal with this. I find my isolating myself even through phone calls and other ways of communication. I know this is not good for me so here I am. I do not have a sponsor but have been working with a councilor. Starting this week we met again thanks to technology.
Stay strong and vigilant. There is always going to be reasons to relapse but keep in mind why you started. Congrats on the 169days but remember we really only have 1 day and thats today. Counseling can be amazing .
Welcome
Holly molly can I relate. I am an alcoholic and a wife and mother of two amazing children. Went to rehab twice. Letting my family down. I thinks it’s a different experience when your a mom and an alcoholic. The guilt just rips your heart out. I too found my higher power and have been working the steps. I’ve had this Sober time app for awhile. But never joined the chat till now. It’s been AMAZING!! Wish I would have done it sooner. These people have helped me, impaired me, made me laugh. Your in the right place!!!
One day at time 
Thanks for sharing. I just happened to find this group while looking doe how to not seem so lost without AA meetings to go to. It is always nice to hear a similar story that you can relate to.
Welcome to this great forum. Spending time reading on here has helped me tremendously. I’m at 191 days and losing meetings in person is not the best for me. I been attending online meetings which have helped knowing I’m not alone. I use intherooms.com but there’s an entire thread with others. Here’s the link:
Online meeting resources
Thanks so much this is the first thing I found would love to use more tools!
Welcome!! Thank you for sharing your story! I am definitely missing my regular meetings. Just going to an aa meeting for the first time in 2018 is what turned my life around. But this app and community is definitely helping me feel connected and less alone now. Congratulations on all the days you have achieved- what an amazing accomplishment!!! Keep taking it one day at a time and you can continue with strong, wonderful sobriety 
Thank you!
I meant inspired me… geesh sorry guys🙃