Well. Here i am. Im 43 and been drinking since 14. Im very functional, good job but very stressful so the padt 7 months was drinking 6 days a week. Long story short…once i start i dont stop drinking.
My family did an intervention and pretty much told me i had to stop and had a problem last monday 2 weeks ago. I havent had a drink since but i wont lie…i want one, or 10.
I would like to think i could just have 2 or 3 drinks but…
Anyways, im doing this for my kids. Trying to prove to them i CAN stop. That i dont NEED inpt.
But do i want to? No.
I enjoy drinking…it makes me happy, more out going, more energy…
Im so depressed when i dont drink. T
his has been a very rough almost 2 weeks.
Isnt there a happy medium?
Welcome and Congratulations on two weeks sober!!! That’s a great achievement.
There IS a happy medium… in sobriety. It’s a medium between happy and sad. There are good days and bad days in sobriety. Celebrate this. Every day should not be a good day, because then none of them would be good days. When you feel down or depressed or sad, don’t immediately jump to try to “fix” it. Experience it, move through it, and then move on. Let yourself feel. Don’t cover it with alcohol.
You may not need inpatient, that’s for you/professionals to decide, but I would STRONGLY suggest some type of meeting/ support group/therapy to help you out. Especially at the start. Addiction is no joke and is a beast to tackle, but it absolutely can be done. No need to do it alone though.
Talk and learn and reach out to people on here. Lots of people with lots of experience to help you learn how to be 100% sober. I hope this helped at least a little.
I am 43, and drank for about 25 years. I have been sober for a little over a year. Keep add8ng those days, it gets better. A sober life is a better life.
There’s a lot going on in your post. First. Congratulations on being here. It’s a super helpful place. Congrats on 2 weeks sober too.
You said your depressed when you can’t or don’t drink? Why is that?
I said the same things about booze. I was more fun, outgoing. Those were just lies I told myself to keep justifying drinking how I did. I’m also 43 and have 2 kids and have held a pretty decent Job for the past 20 years. I drank 7 days a week near the end of my drinking career. It progressed to mornings on the way to work and then during lunch. I just kept a 6 pack stashed in my car.
First time I quit I said it was for my kids and wife because she brought my drinking up and it was a problem for her and the kids. After a couple of months sober I went back to drinking with a passion.
Edit:. I always drank at home. Blacked out almost every night. Woke up early as my wife got in the shower to make sure I didn’t leave any empties in plain sight, or left spilled beer on the couch because I passed out with a full beer and woke up to it spilling all over me.
Had visine hidden so she wouldn’t “know” I was hungover from my bloodshot eyes. Since reeking like beer from sweatting it out wasn’t a dead give away.
Now I quit for myself. I needed to and realized it’s what needed to happen for me to make it happen.
To answer your question about a happy medium, you actually already answered it yourself saying once you start there’s no stopping. So it’s either nothing or everything, and everything is never enough
Your in a bit of a conundrum since you have stopped, but you don’t really want to. You obviously have to want to quit to stay sober right?
Your family must have seen some things that they see as troubling of they held an intervention.
I am so much happier now being sober. There are still shit days and stress. That’ll never go away, but I can handle that all with a clear head. I’m not going to lie, to quit drinking is the best god damn thing I’ve ever done in my life!! I love living sober so damn much.
Cool tattoo by the way.
@Shyshy. First off welcome and congratulations on two weeks. I am very much like you in most of what you said in your post. I started drinking high school and have gotten progressively worse over time. Before I decided to quit I was drinking 20+ beers/drinks a day (7 days a week) to blackout. I would come to the next morning to go to work hungover and feeling terrible. I was so far gone in my drinking that my wife of many years left for good. I finally somewhere in my depressed-hungover-fog decided it was time to take my life back and quit alcohol. I am slowly feeling better and learning to live again (without alcohol). I have the fleeting panicked moments when I think about not drinking again, but I have accepted that I cannot drink in moderation. Being sober is allowing me to lose weight, exercise more, sleep better, be more productive at work, and be a better person. You seem to have a family that cares about you and wants you to get better, however, you have to quit for you. I am glad you found the site. You will find a great bunch of people here that help each other along the way. I am
Pulling for you!!! Feel free to reach out if you need to @GVLNative
Maybe try a meeting wish you well
Welcome! Good luck finding a path that works for you, there is a real diversity of experiences here to consider
Personally I do wish I had listened to my family during those conversations like the one you just experienced, but that was not my path and it took jail, unemployment, and hopelessness to finally get my attention and develop my own willingness to get sober (my family’s willingness for me to be sober was never enough!).
You got this… For your kids and mostly for yourself. Those feelings and urges will be there for a while but it does get easier and the feeling is euphoric waking up everyday knowing that you didn’t succumb to your DOE. You are stronger than you think.
Alcohol messes ( distroys) with your system. Your natural serotonin dopamin etc.
So when you stop it SEEMS that you are depressed. But you just need to hang in and be patient and trust your body and system to recover and the day will come that you feel high again on your own natural drugs.
be proud of yourself you took this step! eat clean pamper yourself. Laugh, play with your kids. truly be in the moment.
alcohol is a fake friend and you deserve better.
For alcoholics and addicts? No. We are incapable of consistent moderation. Our only choices are total abstinence, or succumbing to our addiction, which means death.
Me? I choose life. I choose freedom. I choose sobriety. Day 495 since I last said “yes” to the drink that matters…the first drink.
@Shyshy how are you doing today?
Im actually good today. I have been keeping myself busy with work. Its harder on those days where im just home…but doing ok. How are you?
I’m doing well. Been a long week
Thank you and i hope your pie was awesome! Im finding things i enjoy i never thought…im actually feeling pretty ok with this sober thing…
I love this part: “ I will tell you that from personal experiences if you embrace sobriety and love the idea of being whole and demystify all of the conditioning you have absorbed throughout your life telling you the lies of alcohol Your life will become better in more ways than you can imagine. I baked a fucken pie the other day! I’ve never baked before but I’m finding things to do and finding that I enjoy these experiences. there’s a whole world that we think we’re experiencing but when drinking or only getting 10%. “
Absolutely true! 2.5 years of sobriety for me - I think of the better life I could have had even 10 years ago had I not been drinking and drugging! Functional of not life is 100% better this way. I just never knew . Try it.
Mine too. I was in the tank so long I have no idea what kind of sober adult I’ll grow up to be. I’ve read that the human brain’s intellect is stunted by alcohol, I guess I have no other choice but to believe that judging by my own behavior during times of inebriation. The manner in which I handled criticism or opposition was exquisitely childish and unnoticeable to the drunk me, even after sobering up. Sometimes I might question my reactions to something and If I didnt like it, or thought I should have at least handled whatever differently, I’d get angry, reach for the nearest bottle and sip away until I was right or at least able to tell myself It wasnt me, it was everyone else thats wrong.
Now Im sober almost 8 months and although I still have learning to do about what kind of adult I’ll be when I’m all grown up, Im smart enough to keep my opinions to myself and stay out of the fray. Good luck to you, this place helps, the peeps are generous with their wisdom and supportive when your down. Be well, stay the course.